Friday, December 31, 2010

End of the Year Recap

I did a pretty thorough recap of the year on, so I thought I’d do the same for Shoegirl Corner, since this is my original blog and my baby. One day soon I will start my own website away from blogger, I’ve owned the rights to that name for a while, but I’d like to take a website building class so I can work on my site myself.

The year started out slow on ShoeGirl Corner since I was still blogging for Hips ‘n Salsa. It was a good effort, but not successful. I didn’t blog at all in January and then blogged on average once a month, but at the end of March I thought I could pull off three blogs. I started blogging more through April. I blogged about: getting my first mammogram, purchasing shoes and art, lost remotes and the differences between men and women.

The summer wore on and I realized that I was in a funk. I blogged about it more than once on Shoegirl Corner and on skirt. Now that I look back at both blogs I realize what a bad year 2010 was for me- personally, professionally, financially, and writing wise. The only good part of the year was that I kept writing and the health of my family. I feel like I spent most of 2010 reminding myself that things weren’t that bad and that they could be worse. I taught my daughter to tell me what my husband tells me, “At least we have the money to pay for it” rather than to lament that we didn’t have any money.

Some time in April people started commenting on my blog in Chinese. I reasoned that they were either Chinese spies or they were people who were trying to communicate with one another in communist China and they were using my blog as a channel. They only stayed for a few months and they either found a better channel or they were discovered and had to leave my blog. I was sad to see them go.
As the year wore on I gained more weight and I realized that I have food and cupcake issues. Okay, I rediscovered this. I finally set some goals for myself and I shared my vision board on my Shoegirl Corner blog too. I shared my goals with the world to help me become more accountable.

At the end of the year I feel like things started to take a turn for the better. I went to my beloved New York for business and stayed over the weekend and did some things I didn't do last time, like walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and going to Coney Island.

I started working out on a regular basis. I’ve gone ten weeks straight working out on average three times a week, sometimes more, until I had surgery on the last week of the year. I’ve worked out many times before off and on but this is the first time I think I worked out so many times consecutively. It was a turning point for me. What made it even easier to do was that Rey has been working out too. He has been so happy with his results that he decided to start training for a triathlon. Having him work on a goal to get healthy too has made it a lifestyle for me instead of a chore.

I feel like I ended the year on a good note. I even got a Kindle for $6 and now I can have the experience of reading books electronically first hand. I think that’s important if I’m really going to publish my novel electronically in 2011. I had surgery to correct a little feminine issue that I had and hopefully that’s all fixed now.
I’m looking forward to 2011 whatever it may bring in. I say, "Bring It!" It can not be worse than 2010. Anything that happens will be for the best. I need to get out of my comfort zone. I need to shake things up a bit.
I learned an important lesson this year and that was that it is important to write down my goals. (something I already knew but didn't do for some reason) I will work on spiritual, personal, family and on my writing goals in 2011- all the things on my Vision Board. See you all around next year!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I'm SO GLAD I Don't Need a Catheter

Wow! I never thought I'd have to say that sentence? But I am!! The best part of my surgery was that I didn't have to take a pee bag with me!! I am so excited! I think that was the part that scared me the most, but as it turns out I only had the more minor surgery and not the more major one that would have required me to bring a companion home with me for a couple of days. Thank goodness!

However, it did hurt a lot more than I thought it would. When I came to in the recovery room I was thinking, "Okay, I'm in a lot more pain than I imagined." The main reason for the pain was that I had a catheter and once the nurse took it out the pain subsided. It got better as time went on and by the time they sent me home it was better. All my feminine parts seem to have been fixed and are back in place where they need to be.

I came home and went straight to sleep for a few hours and as I drifted off to sleep I kept thinking, "What if I would have had to bring home the catheter?" I would have begged to be heavily sedated if that had been the case.

I felt better today and I didn't need as much pain medication and I also had several visitors stop by to see me. Most of them were family, including my dad and in-laws. My mom-in-law was a sweetheart and took one child off my hands to give me a little break. She's switching them out and taking the other one tomorrow. That was really sweet of her and does make a big difference.

What's hard to believe is that I'm only six days away from the end of my vacation now. I go back next Tuesday. I was really hoping to do some stuff with the kids, but I don't think I'll be ready to drive and to be out and about tomorrow. I'll wait until Thursday to take them to the museum, somewhere I can sit and watch them while they play, like the Children's Museum. Provided I'm up to it by then.

The hardest part of having surgery at this point is that I can't exercise for an entire week. I can start walking next week when I go back to work, but I can't run or do the elliptical for FOUR weeks. I really need to practice some self control for real now!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Kindlelicious, Vacation and Surgery

I'm blogging about the Kindle for the second time this week so I must be excited. I received my second favorite e-mail from Amazon today.

"You can start building your library before your Kindle even arrives by shopping for books, newspapers, magazines and more at the Kindle Store on Amazon's unique wireless delivery system, Amazon Whispernet, will auto-deliver your purchases directly to your Kindle. Once you receive your Kindle, you can also shop the same great selection directly from your device."

So here it is. This is the model I'm getting (I think). I do know that I'm not getting the 3G version. I don't need that technology. All I need is the wireless connection.

What amazes me the most is that I wasn't that excited about the Kindle prior to buying one. It's funny what feelings the word FREE evokes. Once I realized I could get the Kindle for only $6 with my American Express Reward points its value and my interest increased.

So tomorrow is my last work day for eleven days. I'm excited about the time off, but not about the surgery on Monday. I know it's a necessary evil but I'm not looking forward to the days as a convalescent or to the crazy little bag I have to carry around with me for a couple of days.

The worst part? I have been working out for ten weeks in row and I've been running for two of those weeks. I won't be able to work out heavily for about four weeks, but hopefully I can start walking in a week. What I'm afraid of is that I'll take a week off and I won't want to go back to working out. That is my fear.

Today I made a huge step. The kids wanted eggnog and we stopped at an Exxon by the gym to get some but they didn't have any. We were almost home when I remembered (or rather they reminded me) so I told them I'd get them an eggnog shake form Jack in the Box instead. I went through the Jack in the Box line and I DID NOT get an egg nog shake for myself, egg rolls or the best part, any stuffed jalapeƱo. That is when I know that I'm learning self-discipline and that makes me happy.

So Kindle on Friday, last of the exercise this weekend and my surgery on Monday. Two days of bed rest and no driving, a week of no exercise and then back to work after New Year's. I'll use that week off to rest from the surgery and to really rest my brain and to decide what I'm doing in 2011 and with the next half of my life. I turn 41 in February. I am into my 40s now and really half way done with my life.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Where Do the Days Go???

Seriously, where? I can not believe it's 4 p.m. and I haven't gotten anything written and I haven't cleaned my house.

It all started this morning when I woke up around 9 a.m. and realized that my sore throat had gotten worse. Rey went to play golf and I went back to bed around 10 for a little while, until my father came over and woke me up. I hated myself for sleeping the morning away, but I'm sure I needed it.

I went on with my day after he left but other things kept happening to interrupt it. I said I was going to write and then clean two hours ago and I am barely writing something. The day is gone and I haven't done a thing. Well, I wouldn't say nothing really. My dad was here, we read a Texas Monthly article together. We read my cousin Oscar's essay, "Imaginary Friends." I also told him a follow up story that Oscar told me after the essay was published. When your dad is 86, like mine is, those moments are precious because you don't know how long you'll have them.

I also cooked for my kids and their grandpa brought them "marranitos," gingerbread from his favorite Mexican cafe/bakery. They are gingerbread cut in the shape of little pigs. I used to love to eat them when I was little too, especially the ones my uncle made in his bakery.

I went over to read The Bloggess because I always like to read what's new with her and I was so touched by her blog about people in need and people who reply. What struck me the most was that she said that traffic had not gone up on her blog. Most of the people posting a need and those responding with a gift are her regular readers. I just find it awesome that she was able to create such a great community of readers. I only wish that people were willing to give and to share like this all year long and not only during the holidays.

I'm getting closer and closer to my vacation, which coincidentally is also when I'm having my little surgery. THAT is going to be interesting and painful post-surgery I'm sure with that thing hanging out of me for a couple of days. I AM NOT looking forward to that part of the surgery, but I am looking forward to the results.

On a good note I'll be off from work a total of seven work days with two weekends. That's 11 days in a row to relax, write, and to finish Seth's baby book. Yes, his baby book and he's six, going on seven. That's my life. Procrastinator is my middle name. Hopefully I will catch up on the baby book and writing during my days off.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

My Mother's Little Helper

This may end up as a crazy blog entry so I'm warning you ahead of time. So, you've been warned. And if it doesn't end up crazy then you're okay. I needed my mother's little helper today when I got home from work. Well first I had a nap, something I only do when I'm really tired or down in the dumps.

I had a tough day today. Yes, I did. I'm a mother, wife, and I'm an employee. I work full time against my better judgement, but I have to pay the bills. The problem is... do I dare say it here where the whole world can see it? I don't think my heart is in hard selling any more. It hasn't been in a while. I already sold and I'm done with that. I enjoy all of the product development part of a publication a lot more. I enjoy project management.

So I'm at a weird crossroads in my life yet again. There isn't a position like that open at work right now and as much as I really want to do it, I can't convince the powers that be that we need a position like this one, which we do. So I have to keep doing the job at hand because that's the job I've been assigned and it's also the job that pays the bills.

Enough said about that. I feel like my job is like a lot of other things in my life. I ask myself that question that's taped on my computer, "What would  you do if you knew you could not fail?" And the answer isn't practical when you're the mom of two young children.

I just know this that if by some miracle I came into money I would not live in Houston. I would live in a tiny house in the Italian countryside and I would write full time while the kids learned a new language or attended American school, depending on how close we lived to one. I would live a very simple life and I would concentrate on reading and writing all day long.

What would you do? I know I've asked that question before but it's a great one and I need to keep asking it of myself until I finally do something about it.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

I Sabotage Myself

Friday while at the gym I was looking at my reflection in the big mirrors next to the treadmill and elliptical and I thought I looked really fat. My reasonable self knew that I've worked out for seven weeks straight so there is no possible way I can be fatter than I was two months ago. I also knew that I was bloated, particuarly on Friday, so of course my belly was probably portruding more than usual. However, I still looked at myself and I had one of those moments when I thought, "What's the point in working out?" It's a dangerous place for me to go.

Image borrowed from

I remember coming back to school in 7th grade after working hard all summer on dieting and exercising, yes in 7th grade! And I remember my good friend Aristotole (yes, that's his real name) commenting to his friend Wayne right in front of me that I'd lost weight over the summer. Wayne turned around and said bluntly and matter-of-factly, "Yeah, but she's still fat." I remember that same feeling of what was the use. I didn't even like either boy. I was just a 7th grade girl feeling the peer pressure to look thin. Back then unless you were as skinny as some of the really slim girls you were considered fat. Middle school is definitely the time when girls lose their self-confidence. It's a brutal time.

Now I'm a 40 year old woman. I've survived middle school, high school, college, post college young years, marriage, pregnancies, 20 year high school reunion, and yet here I am, looking at myself in the mirror at the gym and feeling like that 7th grade girl.

And this is when I sabbotage myself. I start thinking like I did in high school and college that I'm overweight anyway and what difference will it do. I stop working out and I return to my same old habits.

This time I'm not. I'm going to take a shower and then I'm packing my gym bag for tomorrow and I'll keep on going. Today starts Week 8 and I already walked for one hour.

Tomorrow morning I'm going into the lap band clinic and I'm getting a long-needed fill. I'll address my concerns about the lap band working or not working, and then I'll be on liquids for two days and soft foods on the third day. This will be a good week for weight loss.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Testing my mobile blogging!