Sunday, December 30, 2018

End of Year Recap

Here I am on the eve of New Year's Eve reflecting on a really hard year that came with sadness, pain, but also gifts and blessings.

I read back on my blog posts from 2018 and I cried a little. I know time heals all wounds and as the year has gone by it has gotten easier to cope with the loss of my father.

The thing about losing my father was that it opened up the old wound of losing my mother almost 19 years ago. There's something so final about losing both your parents. It feels like the final step in growing up. Especially for me, who went from parents, to husband, back to having my father in my house and now standing completely alone with my two kids. 

This past year has had interesting discoveries and challenges too. There was the discovery of the, possibly 100 year old, well in my back yard in early May. There was the freak accident when I cut my ankle open the day before Mother's Day, the tree falling on my house, Miranda's surgery on her pilonidal cyst in the summer, and two, not one, times my car keys were destroyed. Then who can forget my heart misdiagnosis of WPW and sick sinus node that ended up being a weird heart, unlike any heart they had seen before. That was actually pretty cool.

There were the trips. One to California alone to see my sister and another to Paris with my best friend, and two trips to Wimberley and the Hill Country with my kids for Spring Break and Summer.

And the best gift I could have given myself this year, my Peloton bike that has changed my relationship with exercise and is reshaping my body, slowly but surely.

This year was a challenging year at work, but I overcame the tough months and I had a lot of good ones and some good bonuses. What I have is a career, not a job, and I am grateful for that. 

I am so thankful for family and friends. I know I am very fortunate to have as many close friends as I do. Not just regular friends. Friends who I love and trust. I know that is rare. I love my sisters and my niece and nephews so much. My two kids Miranda and Seth are godsends so far. They are such good kids over-all. I couldn't have wished for two better kids who do well in school and are respectful and kind. 

One of the best gifts I've been given these past couple of years is to become a great-aunt and to learn that it feels very similar to becoming a grandmother. Who would have known! We welcomed a healthy beautiful new great-niece into our family in October of this year. 

From my family to yours, I wish you a Happy New Year. May you get all that your heart desires in 2019. 

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

My Treacherous Heart and 100 Rides by 49

"The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?" Life is crazy and so are our bodies. We can do all the right things and still end up with illnesses that affect our bones and muscles. We can not take care of ourselves, eat bacon all the time, and live to 93. We never know what our body is going to do. The best bet is to just eat right and exercise as much as possible as long as we can. 

It turns out I have an unusual heart. A few months ago I was diagnosed with WPW/Wolf-Parkinson-White (an accessory pathway of the electrical current in my heart) and possible sick sinus node. I went in to the hospital on November 16 for a cardiac catheterization to map my heart and to see where the problem was. The doctor at UT Physicians was sure that I was going to have to have an ablation.So did the second opinion doctor from Methodist/DeBakey.
It turns out that I have an ectopic atrial rhythm in the top left chamber that made it look like I had WPW and Sick Sinus Node. I have neither and the ectopic atrial rhythm is not life threatening. In fact the main electrical impulses of my heart start with that rhythm. The sinus node also works but not as strongly as the rhythm. The doctor has never seen anything like this before in his professional career. He said he got on a conference call with the doctor who did my second opinion and another specialist and they had never seen this before either.
So all's well that ends well for now. I took a two week break from my Peloton bike to make sure that the entry points in my groin had healed. I've been back on it for a week now and everything is working as it should so far, except for some slight soreness on the left side. My regular doctor said those entry points take a little while to heal. 
There's this meme that I love that I used to post when I was trying to walk/run. I want to make the same one for cycling. There are so many things to be grateful for and one of those is that I have a body that can move the way it does. Not everyone can say that.

Of course I'm not out of the woods yet. I still need to keep cycling and eating right and trying to lose this weight that haunts me. I've made a commitment to reach 100 rides by my 49th birthday in February. Yesterday I got to Ride #60 so I'm well on my way. Now I just need to change my diet to match my exercise. I have to. I need to. I will recommit for 2019. #100ridesby49