Saturday, August 28, 2021

My Aunt Lola

One of my earliest memories of my aunt Lola involves baby powder on our socks and skating all over her wooden floor. I knew she was very strict with my cousins Riza and Carlitos, but when it came to her visiting with my mom, we got into all kinds of adventures that included “ice skating” across her living room in socks with baby powder. I never asked my cousins if they got in trouble after we left their hardwoods filled with powder! 

We would do “science experiments” with Selsun Blue shampoo in their restroom, we played “Happy Days,” with my cousin Carlitos playing the part of the Fonz and using the arm of the living room armchair as his motorcycle. We played in their backyard on their swing set, which I coveted, “house” in our outside washroom, even in the winter, and danced “ballet” and  pretended we owned a “fur company” at our other uncle’s house over his bakery.

Lola (Dolores) was married to my Uncle Carlos, my mother’s little brother, whom she loved dearly. My mother was thirteen years older than her brother and he was just a little boy when she married my father. She was very close to him and he called my mom “Madamita,” a nickname their whole family called her.

My mother and Lola were best friends. All those times that the kids and I were playing for hours, my mom, aunt and uncle were lost in conversation over coffee, pan dulce or Pecan Sandies. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about. We saw them every single week, because either we stopped at their house after our JW meeting or because they stopped by our house. Lola and Carlos are a part of almost every childhood memory I have.

The day that our Uncle Ismael died my mom and I were visiting with him at his bakery. He walked us outside to my sister Sarah’s car. She had taken us there to show my uncle her new Chevette. The pay phone in the bakery rang and it was my other sister telling us that Carlos and Lola were at our house. My mom, sister and I said goodbye to my Uncle Ismael, not knowing that it was the last time we would see him alive.

I don’t remember how long after we got home we got the call that something had happened at the bakery, but I remember my mom, dad, sister Hilda, Carlos and Lola all ran out the door and left us kids with the baby Susana and my older sister Becky and her boyfriend Raul, with hardly a word.

Lola and Carlos were there that fateful night that my uncle was killed in a robbery and my mother held her brother for the last time. My sister Hilda, who was a nurse, tried to administer CPR without success. They shared that loss and tragedy with my mother.

As I grew up and became an adult, Carlos and Lola were still constants in my home visiting my mom, always drinking coffee together and laughing at memories from over the years.

Lola would ask my mom, “Tell me again that story about the time Nico went to work in Arizona and you took the bus all by yourself to go meet him there.”

And my mother, the talented story-teller in her own right, would go into detail about the bus ride and the characters she met along the way.

It’s almost fitting that the night my mother died, Lola was with her. She and my cousin Nere, and their daughters, had gone to visit my mom and seeing how sick she was feeling decided to stay up with her after my father went to bed. Little did anyone know that it was the day my mother would die and Lola was with her when she took her last breath. For that I will always be grateful and I thanked her later. She was her best friend until the very end.

Sadly, over the last twenty-one years since my mother died I grew even further from my aunt and uncle. Differences in religion, or lack thereof on my part, probably played a role. I can’t say for sure, but never-the-less we drifted apart.

This weekend there will be a memorial service on Zoom for Lola. She passed away a week ago from meningitis. She was one month shy of her 76th birthday, too young in my book.

The last time I saw her and my uncle was at my father’s funeral three years ago. I had happened to see her a few months prior to that, at a cousin’s funeral. I sat next to her and my uncle in their pew at the funeral home and caught up with them. It was probably the last full conversation I had with them, the winter of 2017.

Although we didn’t speak these last few years, she holds a dear place in my heart. How couldn’t she? She is in every memory I have as a little girl. She and my uncle spent hours with my mother and loved her dearly.  I will always refer to Lola as my mother’s best friend. I love her and my Uncle Carlos because they loved my mother, and I wish I had remained close to them for that reason. Goodbye dear Lola, until we meet again.

Sunday, July 25, 2021

Successful People in the Last Third of Their Life

I'm going through a mid-life crisis moment in my life, even though I'm way past the mid-point and more on the last leg. I'm on a growth path right now. 

Friday, June 11, 2021

Blog Therapy

Sometimes when I'm getting down and into that place, when I'm not doing the things I need to be doing, I should open this blog and read my own words. Why can't I always stay this positive? Because I'm human that's why. It's hard to keep going non-stop and sometimes all we can do is our best. 

#9 Typewriter Key Tattoo on My Wrist

I got a tattoo last month. I was supposed to get it for my 50th birthday, but we all know what a "show" that was between toegate, picc line and allergic reaction. So it never happened until now at almost 51 and a half. 

It’s a typewriter key with the number 9.  Number nine to symbolize the nine weeks that I had the picc line in my arm. It’s a constant reminder that I have to take care of my health and my body. If that means reading this blog every day, so be it. 

The parentheses, above the nine on the keyboard, is a funny coincidence, but also appropriate because it reminds me that there is always more to the story. (Anyone who has ever heard me tell a story knows there’s always a side note inside a parentheses) The typewriter key is my reminder to write.

Two important reminders: My health and my writing. The two things I'm concentrating on right now.

Old typewriter I wish I'd bought from my sister.

Newest news is that I'm working on a novel. This is only my second novel since the one I was writing when I started this blog in 2004. I've written years and years of blog posts, articles, and a few short stories over the years. But I never published that first novel and I never did more. 

I always remember that woman who called me from Las Vegas because she was writing a paper on a Hispanic author for her English class. Her teacher gave the class a list of authors and somehow I ended up on the list. Yes, I was confused too. The woman told me she had chosen me because she wanted to write about a living author. I was flattered, but I felt like such a poser when there are so many Hispanic authors, who I personally know, who would have been way more appropriate.  

I want to write this novel for me, but I also want to write it for that woman. 

This is it. This is THE novel. This is the one. Get ready.

Sunday, May 16, 2021

Either Focus on One Thing or Get Zero Done

The story of my life is that I have to focus on one thing at a time or I will get nothing done. As much as I wish I could juggle several things at once, I've come to accept that I can't. When I was younger, and when the children were little, I could do so much more than I can now. 

My First 5K Run

I did my first 5K Run in my life on May 9 on Mother's Day with my kids, their dad and his girlfriend, my friend Leisa. It was a great American family event and we all went to dinner afterwards. 

Can we take a moment to celebrate me doing a run for the first time EVER in my life? It was the Houston Rodeo Virtual Run. I am so proud of myself and I can't wait to do more and to build myself up to a 10K run. I'll never be a marathon runner, but I'll be happy if I can complete a 10K. Baby steps!

I had been running for the past couple of months with my Peloton app because I wanted to take advantage of the great weather while I could. I know it will be really hot in Houston soon enough and it will be harder to run in the humidity. So when my daughter told me about this virtual 5K run I thought it was great timing. 

After the run, my left ankle, that has given me some problems when clipping in and out of the bike, and when wearing certain high heels, started hurting me a lot. The irony was that it's never hurt me when I walk or run. I decided to give it a break for a few days after the run.

Coincidentally I found out that I was having a home inspection/appraisal the following Saturday, the 15th. Once I knew I had this looming deadline that's all I could think about and focus on. I made a schedule of what I needed to do each day to clean the house. I know... I know... it's not about how clean or dirty my house is. However, I was not going to have the appraiser think to herself, "Not only did she not remodel this house, she is dirty on top of that." 

So did I continue walking and running this past week? No. Two things that make me get off schedule from working out. An injury or illness and having to do something big, like cleaning the house to prepare for this appraisal. 

The good news is I did pace myself with the house project and I completed a few tasks each day. With the help of my daughter Miranda we got everything done in time for the appraisal. The trick with me mentally is to make a list and to set daily goals so I don't get overwhelmed and shut down. That's what I did and I was able to complete the over-all big task. 

Now with that behind me, and with my ankle feeling better, I can start running again. It's always a challenge, but I always do it. I always recommit. That's what I have to keep telling myself in order to continue. This time I'm going to do it sooner than later. 

Another thing that always helps me to focus on my goals, and to take them in baby steps, so that I can complete them, is making lists and using day planner. Some friends can't believe that I still use an old-school paper planner, a FranklinCovey one to be exact, but writing things down is an essential part of my life. When I write things down and I can see my plans down on paper it calms me. 

I have a dashboard page in my planner where I have four different short lists of things I want to get done. At the top of the page are my five main life goals. 

It's hard for me to do all of these at the exact same time and one always falls behind at some point, however this is what I work on balancing. I have come to accept that sometimes I need to take a whole week off from one, like running for example, to get my house in order for something important like an appraisal. And I won't beat myself up when I need to do that.

All of them are equally important to me and here recently I have really been feeling like this novel that I'm working on is going to be very significant in my life. I wish I could be put in a room alone for a weekend with just my Peloton, my weights, my yoga mat and my lap top. I would write, work out, eat, nap and then write some more. 

I've been looking at writing retreats where I can at least have the solitude and I'm really thinking about doing one. I know it's an expense, but it could be an investment that would be worth it it in the end.  I want to isolate myself for an entire weekend to write. I also love the idea of taking an Amtrak trip somewhere, with a sleeper cart, over a weekend to write.

Plans, plans and more plans. So much is hanging on this appraisal that was done yesterday. If I can refinance my house at a lower interest rate then I can do so many other things. For example, I'm so excited about going on vacation in June with the kids and hopefully doing a writing retreat in July. These are my summer goals!

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Little Libraries and Cemeteries Are Keeping Me Busy

I’m really excited about the projects I’m working on right now. I’ve decided to make Little Libraries in Laundromats an actual non-profit organization. I want to make early education its mission.
I want to speak to parents at under-served HISD elementary schools about the School Choice program to encourage them to identify if their children are gifted in some way. I feel like there are so many gifted children in HISD who fall through the cracks because nobody takes an interest in them or because their parents don’t know how to navigate the system. Those of us that take advantage of the magnet program are parents who know about it and it can even be challenging for us. Imagine how challenging it can be for a parent with very little education or who only speaks Spanish?
I’m passionate about this cause because I attended an under-served elementary school and I was introduced to the magnet programs when I was in middle school when I attended Hamilton Middle School. After that I was in the IB program at Waltrip High School. My kids are also graduates of the Vanguard program and attended DeBakey High School, one of the top magnet schools in the city and the state.
I’m going to expand my library locations soon and I’m going to move into the Eastex/Jensen area. This is the area where I grew up and I want to collaborate with an artist in that neighborhood. There are other projects I want to work on in the community.
I’m also excited with the momentum that we’ve gained with the Historic McDaniel Street Cemetery and I’m so proud to sit on the board of the Westcott Cemetery Association as secretary. (I’ve blogged about it as the Westcott Cemetery) The Westcott Cemetery Association has made so much progress with this initiative. We had a very successful event at the cemetery on Saturday, April 10 and we announced that the Fondren Foundation has awarded us a $45,000 challenge grant. If you would like to donate to this cause there are ways to donate on our website.
I have plenty to keep me busy this next year and a half until Seth graduates. I feel like I’m building a foundation now for where I want to go in the future and this brings me satisfaction.