Half Birthdays and Stardust Cycles

Almost twenty-two years ago I wrote my very first blog post here. Seth was six months old. Although it's not an actual anniversary this month, I feel like it is a significant milestone for me. Seth was a six-month-old baby, and I was juggling motherhood, being a wife, keeping a home, trying to be a devout Christian, and working full time. It was not an easy task. 

Miranda and Seth, ages 3 and 6 months

It's now 2026 and Seth is 22 years old. He graduated with his bachelor's degree in finance from Long Island University in Brooklyn in May. Miranda, also pictured here, is 25 and she's starting her second year of graduate school at UT School of Public Health. I've been a single mom for almost 15 years now and an odd combination of divorcée/widow for almost two years. The time has gone by faster than all the clichés added up together.

But if we're talking about anniversaries, tomorrow is a significant one. It's the 31st anniversary of my older sister Hilda's passing. Thirty-one years. Wow! When I think about that timeline, I see my entire life stretched out from that point on. I think about all the things that I wish I had known then and all the decisions that I would have made differently.

At this point, at the age of 56.5, there is no point in dwelling on butterfly effects, regrets, or lessons learned. I only hope that I'm ready for the last season, the last one third, and that I'm smart about what I do from this point forward. 

Tuesday is my half birthday. It's the exact 6-month marker to my 57th birthday. The next four birthdays are going to be the most exciting of my life, provided I make each one. I say "if," because my ex-husband Rey died the day after his 54th birthday. 

My 57th birthday will be the exact three-year countdown to my 60th birthday, when I hope to make a huge life change. That will be the official start of the last third of my life. 

These are my goals for the next 3.5 years.

1. Eat cleaner. Yes, it's hard to eat really clean, so I will just say to eat as clean and as smart as I can. This includes 30 grams of protein before noon and 60 grams in one day.

2. Really increase my weight training. Goal: Heavy!

3. Also, really increase my balance training, which includes walking a lot, so I can walk for miles when I'm older. 

4. Learn French and Portuguese.

If I can do all of these, I will be ready for my 60th birthday. I know three years is nothing when you consider the fact that my kids are three years apart, and I timed them perfectly and on purpose. Three years is nothing, when I think about my sister dying thirty-one years ago. Three years is insignificant, when I remember the first day that I sat down to write this blog almost twenty-two years ago.

Time will also fly between the age of 60 and when the time comes that I can't travel the United States and the world anymore. I don't know that deadline. All I can do is make sure that I'm adding life to those years as much as I can. 

How much time we actually have left on this earth is one of the greatest mysteries of life. If we knew the answer, we might not do as much as possible. We could just be sitting there waiting for the end. Sadly, some people do that anyway. I don't want to be one of those people.

So Happy Stardust Cycle to my sister Hilda and Happy Half Birthday to me. I hope that I can live a life that shows that I truly appreciate these 10, 20, or 30+ trips I have left to go around the sun.

Rappelling Into the Life I’m Choosing

On Friday, I did something I never imagined I’d do: I rappelled off the DoubleTree Hotel on Westheimer near the Galleria. Twenty-six stories. 9,000 feet of rope. And there I was — hanging off the side of the platform, suspended in midair, heart pounding, eyes wide open.

Photo Credits: The United Way of Greater Houston

The idea first came to me on Monday, November 10, as I was getting ready for book club after work. I’d already asked several people at the Houston Chronicle, and every one of them said, “No thank you.” My publisher, Nancy, had asked me to find a second person to join her. We were able to do this as part of our support of the United Way of Greater Houston. I serve as the Hearst Gives Back Champion for the Chronicle — who better than me to go down with our publisher, to show up for the United Way’s incredible work and to stand in solidarity with our community?

Yes, that's me coming down 26 stories,

If I'm being honest I also did it for myself. I've written about having an epiphany that I was on the cusp of something amazing. In that post I said this: So back to the epiphany. It was this. "You know how we all say, “Oh if I could only go back to this certain age knowing what I know now?” For me it would be the age of 23, right after I graduated from college and starting my career. I may not be 23 years old, with that youthful look and good health, but I am about to be in a very similar situation when the kids are both adults. Except this time, I have 51 years of life experience under my belt. Along with the experience, I’m also going in with a much more realistic expectation than I would have had at 23. At 23 I thought I had all the time in the world. I know now that time is fleeting."

I wrote this four years ago and Seth is now halfway through his senior year in college and Miranda will be in graduate school for another year and a half. So much has happened since I had that epiphany and I've had to readjust my timeline and my expectations a couple of times. But I think about it often and I am really feeling it now more than ever as I get closer to letting them take flight into adulthood.

Finding my center before going over the edge. 

I felt like this action of rappelling off the building was part of me being on the cusp of something amazing in my life. Like I was launching myself towards new possibilities and like I have very few obstacles in my way. 

I wrote this on my LinkedIn post about the experience. Lowering myself down the side of a 26-story building wasn’t just exhilarating—it was transformative. That moment on the edge, when I had to lean back and trust myself, the rope, the lever, and the expert team from Over the Edge was the most terrifying part. But it was also symbolic: the beginning of a new chapter grounded in courage, clarity, and intention.

The day before I rappelled, I meditated on what I wanted for it to represent. It was symbolic of me entering a new phase of my life, of working towards partial retirement, hopefully doing something new and exciting and in general doing the things that bring me joy. I want to be more mindful of what I put into my body. I want to exercise more. I want to write like it's my part-time job. I want to do the things that will set me up to have a life that I've dreamed about. 

(Addition) When I talked to my mentee about this blog, around 9 days after writing it, I had another realization. I didn't jump off a building, I lowered myself with a lever. I had the control. I controlled how fast or how slow I went down the side, just like I have control over my own life.

So, I'll end this like I ended that post in 2021. I’m excited to see what comes next because I feel like I am on the cusp of something amazing.

The Years I Gave Away to Survival, Motherhood and the Voice I Still Have

Earlier this year I went to see one of my favorite writers, someone who I first met in 2004. Stephanie Elizondo Griest was promoting her new book, Art Above Everything. 

I went to hear her read at a Nuestra Palabra event. Ironically, I first met her at KFPT, when I was pregnant with my second child Seth, also with Nuestra Palabra. I met her in the lobby of the radio station, after speaking on the NP show and then later, I was one of the beginning writers who opened for her at MECA here in Houston. 

Me, pregnant at MECA, Houston, 2004.

I've always admired Stephanie, and our paths have crossed often in the past 21 years. One time I was in New York having dinner with my cousin, and she invited me to go to a friend's reading. The friend was Stephanie, and my cousin Cindy didn't even know I knew her. Stephanie was promoting one of her books, it may have been Mexican Enough, because it was published in August 2008 and that was around the time I was traveling to New York a lot for work. 

Kids at Brazos Bookstore for Reading, 2018

In 2018 the kids and I went to see Stephanie read here in Houston at Brazos Bookstore promoting All the Agents and Saints. It was so cool to have my kids there, since Miranda was a baby and I was pregnant with Seth when I first met Stephanie.

Fast forward to this year, when I went to hear Stephanie read from her latest book. So many of her words stuck with me—they’ve been echoing ever since.

In Art Above Everything, Stephanie Elizondo Griest names a truth I’ve long wrestled with: that choosing art over motherhood is a radical act of creation, although a difficult one. She affirms that her writing is her lineage, her legacy, her offering to the world. And I feel that. I do. 

But my story holds a different tension. I chose motherhood, and in doing so, I’ve questioned—quietly, painfully—whether I truly love my art. If I did, wouldn’t I have fought harder for it? Wouldn’t I have carved out time, even in the chaos?

I’ve sacrificed my writing for survival, for service, for love. And now I ask: When will I write? Not just scribble in the margins, not just archive rituals in passing—but truly write. As if my pages are my children too.

Griest’s declaration—Art Above Everything—is a stance that I admire. Mine might be: "Art Alongside Everything." Because I’m still here. Still capable of creation, despite how hard it is to have both in this country where we have to work to survive. 

I have so many writing projects planned and I don't want to be retired to start them. I have a novel now, one I've been writing since 2021, that deserves to be finished and launched into the world. I don't want to wait 20 years, like I did with Broken Cousins. I want to finish it and find a home for it, whether it's through the traditional channels or publishing it myself. 

I have three more projects after that one. I want to write something about my matrilineal line and our tie to Houston, a book about Texas vodkas, and another about the history of Mexican bakeries in Houston. 

I have plans. 

I know that realistically I can partially retire in 4.5 years, if I can find a part-time employer who pays health insurance, and as long as I make under a certain amount. If and when I do this, I can write full time. However, I don't want to wait until then. I want to write as much as I can now, while I know I'm still alive. While I know I still have a voice. 

I think of the times in my life that I had the time to write full time, but I worried about survival and didn't just write. The first time was when I quit working full-time for the Houston Chronicle at the age of 24. I was so young! I wish I could go back to that girl and tell her. I worried about my future, and we didn't have the technology (Internet) we have now. I thought I should go to graduate school and started studying for the GRE, instead of writing. I regret that now. Plus, I fell in love with Miranda and Seth's father. 

The second time I tried to take the time to write, was in 2013, a couple of years after my divorce, when I quit working to take care of Seth and my elderly dad, who decided to come live with me. I wanted to write as much as I could, but I found myself working contract, because I was worried that I wouldn't have the money to support my children. In retrospect, I should have just concentrated on my creative writing that year, just one year, and I would have loved to see what I could have accomplished. 

I can’t rewrite those years. I can name them. I can honor what they gave me—motherhood, memory, meaning—and now, I can finally ask for what I need. I don’t want to wait for permission. I want to write while I know I’m alive. While I still feel the urgency in my chest and the words pressing against my ribs. 

I will write. Not someday. Now.

Death Reminds Me to Live

I've had four very significant deaths in my life these past thirty years. This August it will be thirty years since my eldest sister died from Leukemia. I lost my mother in 2000 and my father in 2018. All of them were sick or old, so I expected death. Maybe not the exact day that they died, but I knew they were going to die, and it wasn't a shock. But I was still affected by their deaths because I loved them. 

When Rey died, I wasn't ready. Not at all. And it's something I'm still struggling with eight months later. It's still a very surreal feeling that he was here one day and gone the next. Just like that. No warning. 

It's very complicated to explain my and Rey's relationship. It was love and hate, push and pull, obsessive, co-dependent, unhealthy, and yet a co-parenting partnership that many admired. Nobody except my closest friends, family and our children knew the real truth. It's not a topic for a short blog post. It's a whole book's worth and maybe a book I should write in the future. 

Yes, I was very close to my sister, my mother and my father, who lived with me the last four years of his life, but even then, I wasn't as close to them as I was to Rey. Nobody was inside my head like he was. 

Eleven years ago, I started a list of people who had died, family and friends. I think I started it to remind myself of all the people who died at an age that is considered young. I did this to remind myself of how short life can be for some and to embrace life. There are two co-workers on the list who died at 39 and 47 from cancer. There are also two classmates who died in their early 40s, both suddenly in their sleep, like Rey. I added him to that list this week. 

Ghent, Belgium

I go back to the original reason why I wrote the list, because when someone dies, I'm reminded of my own mortality and how fragile life can be. I say that I'm going to do better, that I'm going to eat better, and exercise more. I say that I'm going to appreciate life more and do all the things that bring me joy. 

Death affects me. Death is shaping me. Death is making me reevaluate my life once again. Death reminds me to LIVE.  Especially now, when I'm ten years away from retirement and terrified that I won't live long enough to enjoy it. One of the people on my list was a co-worker who was counting down the months to her retirement and was found dead in her bed when she didn't show up to work. 

This summer vacation to Europe was a reminder of how much I want to travel when I retire. I'm realistic enough to know that I need to keep working and that I need to do well, so I can have the kind of retirement that I want. I need to work to have the money, and I need health insurance to help keep me healthy. 

When I was 24 and my sister was diagnosed with cancer, I reevaluated my life for the first time, and I did something impulsive and quit my job. I felt like I had rushed to finish college and had started working too soon. I thought that I wanted to become a teacher or move to Europe to teach English, so I started substitute teaching and spent a month in Spain during the summer of 1995. I started planning my move with a friend in Spain, but in the end no, I didn't move to Spain. 

I'm no 24-year-old girl anymore and I can't quit my job and plan to move to Europe right now. I have a mortgage, a son who has a year of college left and a daughter starting graduate school. I still have people I'm responsible for, at least for two more years. 

So instead, I choose to live a life of intention. I will do the things that bring me joy; like going to art museums, to book reading events with authors, collaging, writing, reading, going to book club meetings, working on my little libraries, supporting a historic cemetery, volunteering at non-profit organizations, mentoring young professionals, and doing 5K runs, and the list goes on. 

I recently took a writing class with a writer's organization, Writespace and I decided to become a member. I'm attending two of their events this month. My goal is to do more writing activities with groups, so I can stay motivated to write and to start submitting my work to literary magazines. 

I went to see the Psychedelic Furs band perform Saturday night and Richard Butler and his brother Tim Butler are 69 and 66. They still sound the same as they did forty years ago. As I was sitting there listening to them, I marveled at the fact that one of the reasons they're still performing is because they love what they do. I've heard the saying before, that when you love what you do for work, it's like you're not working a day in your life.  You can tell by their performance that they love their careers. That is my goal, to have a career that I'm passionate about while I still have to work. 

When I mention retiring some people tell me that they'll be bored when they retire and I don't understand that. I'll have more time to do the things I love when I retire. The weekends are too short for me!  I wish I could stretch the time out to do everything that I want to do. 

Like this upcoming week, I have something to do every single evening of the week and I'm okay with that. It's just me "creating happiness for myself.," like Isa Rae said. And that is all I need right now.

Recap of the Last Week of the European Adventure 2025

I know I'm writing this late as hell. I debated if I should write it at all, being that it's been two weeks and two days since we returned. But I feel like I have to finish the story.

Copenhagen, Roskilde (Denmark) and Malmo (Sweden)

June 2-6 

By the time I got to the second week in Denmark I was a little tired, even though I tried to practice "slow travel." My left foot, that has been bothering me since I twisted it six months ago on and off, decided to start hurting after the first week of walking on average 10,500 steps per day. 

Monique and Henning were wonderful hosts and gave us keys so we could come and go as we wanted, especially since Monique was working some of the days we were staying with them. I've known Monique since kindergarten, but we became best friends when we were placed in the same first grade class at Sanderson Elementary. 

The first day we set out on an adventure to Roskilde, Denmark. Thirty-nine Danish monarchs are buried in the cathedral that dates back to 1275. 

Roskilde Cathedral, 1225

When we arrived in Roskilde we took the bus to the Viking Museum first. It was a really cool and interesting experience. They have partly reconstructed several Viking ships with pieces that they found in the bay off the coast of Roskilde. The archeologists have studied these remains, and the museum has reconstructed models that they have out on the water, outside the museum. It's an ongoing archaeological study. 

After the museum we made the 30-minute walk through a beautiful park towards the cathedral pictured here. The sarcophagi are beautiful pieces of art, each one unique and amazing. I don't know which one was my favorite because they were all so beautiful. 

We returned to Copenhagen and delicious a wonderful lasagna dinner made by Henning. 

The next day was all about Copenhagen. We set out in the morning and stopped in at their amazing department store Magasin du Nord. Monique had pointed it out when we passed it at the subway level the day we arrived. We just wanted to peek in, but when we discovered the cafe, we had to stop there for coffee and something light for breakfast. I made friends with the guy who worked the cafe and found we both had a love for old architecture. We made a plan to return on our way home that afternoon to buy gifts. I'm so glad we did because unbeknownst to us everything was going to be closed the next day for Constitution Day. 

After breakfast we set off to see one of the most famous landmarks in Copenhagen. The Little Mermaid. 

The Little Mermaid

The walk to get to her was long and through another beautiful park and old fortress. Later Monique told me there was a bus we could have taken all the way up to the statue. That would have been great, to save time, but we wouldn't have had the great experience of the park and the beautiful things we saw along the way, statues, a great old church, fountains and interesting historic fortress. 

The Little Mermaid is beautiful. Interesting trivia about her. She was commissioned by Carl Jacobsen, the son of the founder of Carlsberg Beer. When we were in Roskilde we learned that the statues around the sarcophagus belonging to Christian the 9th and his wife Lousie are known as the Little Mermaid's sisters and were created by the same artist and sculptor, Edward Erikesen. 

We returned with just enough time to do some sightseeing around Magasin. The store building itself is breathtaking and historic. The architecture style is French Renaissance Revival. It took the "du Nord" part of its name from the "Hotel du Nord" that stood there first. When the store got its start in Copenhagen they had rented space in the hotel. As they grew, they were able to take over the entire hotel. They demolished the original hotel, where Hans Christian Andersen had once boarded, and built the department store that we now see, in 1894.

The store is across the street from the old opera house, known as the Royal Danish Theatre.  In front of the theatre is Kogens Nytorv, the largest square in the city. Several important buildings face the square. I took pictures of all of them because I loved all the beautiful architectural styles. 

After shopping, we made it back just in time to go to dinner with Monique and Henning. We had Chinese food and great conversation. It was the end to a great day.

On our last day we took a day trip with Monique to Malmo, Sweden and Monique's daughter Danielle met us at the Malmo Central Train Station. She lives in another town not too far from Malmo. 

Malmo Central Station

We saw another beautiful church, had lunch, and walked around looking at all the historic buildings. We ended the day in a comic bookstore, where we found a book in English, originally written and published in Swedish, for Miranda's nephew Anthony. 

I was tired by the time we were at our 12th travel day. I didn't do my usual research of the top historic things I wanted to see, so I missed out on some interesting things in Malmo. But it didn't really matter because it was wonderful to finally meet Danielle in person, after watching her grow up on Facebook. The visit in itself made the trip well worth it and I know it was special for Monique because she doesn't get to see her daughter as often as she'd like. 

We flew home from Copenhagen on Friday morning. 

I now have plans for a whole Scandinavian tour, starting in Copenhagen and traveling up through Norway, Sweden and Finland. I would like to be strategic on where I visit, and I'll only spend two days in each city with a couple of "break" days in between, so I don't get too tired. 

Other trips I'd like to plan are: a trip through all the countries in the United Kingdom, a trip to Portugal and Spain (for Miranda because I've been to Spain many times) and a trip to Greece. 

I just got back two weeks ago and I'm already plotting my return! More than, that I'm writing out my goals on how I can retire in five years so I can keep traveling. 

P.S. When the boys left us in Amsterdam they proceeded on an adventure through Luxembourg, Zurich, Switzerland and on to Venice, Italy. Ethan left Italy the same day we left Denmark and Seth stayed on in Italy for another week.