So Then I Ripped Off My Stitches...

I started off the year pretty slow and I have only blogged once this year so far. Terrible! But in my defense I've had a lot going on. I've had a lot of personal and professional challenges going on at the exact same time and that always seems to happen. Yes, like two things at the same time. Life has a way of doing that and as much as I said that I was going to rebuke all the bad things from 2010 they've somehow tried to sneak their way into 2011.

http://www.annetaintor.com/

So once again, I refuse to have the same year that I had last year. I have a vision board and a vision this year and a plan! By the way, my vision board was featured on Rosie Molinary's blog. She's the author of Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self Acceptance. I haven't read the book yet but have been meaning to get it. I wonder if there's a Kindle version.

As many of you know from my previous blogs I had surgery on December 27. That went pretty well and I went in for my two week check up on January 10. I thought the doctor was going to do a thorough check up, if you get what I mean. In other words, I thought he was going to check where he did the surgery. As it turns out, all he wanted was a urine sample and to talk to me for five minutes. The more detailed check-up was in another month.

I took the opportunity to ask him, "What in the world did y'all do to me? My legs were so sore and I had these two weird welts on the inside of my legs with blood on them, like you all put tape there and it ripped my skin."

He looked at me perplexed and said, "Those were your stitches. It was glue!"

"What?!" I asked even more confused, "Oh...." 

He thought that he had explained that part but I swear I don't remember ever hearing him say that they were making any incisions on the inside of my thighs and that there would be glue stitches there. And I in turn didn't tell him that I promptly ripped that "glue" off either the day of surgery or the very next day. I mean, the nurse didn't even tell me to be careful or that when I showered I would have glue/stitches there. Great! I may have just detached what was connected on the other side of those incisions. Hopefully not...because I can't afford to have surgery all over again to fix it.

Then I got curious and I decided to You Tube the surgery I had and I almost wish I hadn't. OR I should have watched the animated version instead of the live person one. I just kept thinking, "Ugh! They did that to me!" Not a good idea. So my advice here is, never You Tube your surgery, before or after you have it. Especially not before because then you may not even have the surgery, any surgery, I'm not just talking about mine.

That was a great way to start off the year! Ripped stitches, less writing, and less exercise. Oh yeah, I forgot that part. I actually went back to exercising a week after the surgery like the doctor said I could, but I overdid it a bit, so I had to take the second week off. When I told the doctor about the pulling that I felt after I went to the gym he said I should take it easier and listen to my body.  I went back on the third week a couple of times but I feel like it was minimal compared to what I had been doing before the surgery.

Tomorrow I hit the four week mark so I can go back to running if I wanted to. However I probably can't because I'm going to have to build myself back up to it. I'll probably do the 60 seconds of running and 90 seconds (or more) of walking alternating back and forth. I'm actually looking forward to getting back on track.

I also took a big step and went to see a dietician at the True Results clinic. One thing that always surprised me when I got the lap band a few years ago was that they never scheduled an appointment with a dietician. I thought that was really weird and when I asked to speak to someone they had me speak to their patient liaison that I'm sorry to say doesn't seem to have any real training or licensing. When she told me that she never used weights to work out because she didn't want to "bulk up" it was hard for me to take anything she said seriously.

This time I met with a real dietician and we had a good little visit. I didn't think she was the best dietician visit I have ever had, but it was okay. She gave me some specific advice for a lap band patient and I am going to work on following all of her suggestions. In a nutshell I'm getting a kid's size plate that has the different sections for the different food groups. I have to eat the most protein and I have to eat it first. Then I eat my vegetables and my carbs last. I am cutting out vodka and cranberry juice first and I'm going to try to drink more wine. She said if I must drink I should drink wine so I'm going to try that. If I just make those small changes to my diet, there was a lot more detail of course, she said I will definitely see a difference in my weight loss.

Today I'm about to get a much needed massage. I had a really bad pain in my upper back early in the week and it isn't as bad any more, but I feel like I should address it any way before it comes back. I think it may be my lap top too. I need to get one of those rolling suitcases so I won't have to carry it. I'm already too short and too top heavy. I don't need that added weight.

Other than that I've had sick children for the past few days. My daughter was sick on Thursday evening and my son has been sick since he got back from school on Friday. He's still congested but he's been running fever at night. I need to keep on top of it today so he won't run fever tonight. The challenges of motherhood!

The first month of the year is over and we are really on our way into 2011. Let's see what this week will bring! I have my back-up plan ready.

Kindlelicious, Vacation and Surgery

I'm blogging about the Kindle for the second time this week so I must be excited. I received my second favorite e-mail from Amazon today.

"You can start building your library before your Kindle even arrives by shopping for books, newspapers, magazines and more at the Kindle Store on Amazon.com. Amazon's unique wireless delivery system, Amazon Whispernet, will auto-deliver your purchases directly to your Kindle. Once you receive your Kindle, you can also shop the same great selection directly from your device."

amazon.com

So here it is. This is the model I'm getting (I think). I do know that I'm not getting the 3G version. I don't need that technology. All I need is the wireless connection.

What amazes me the most is that I wasn't that excited about the Kindle prior to buying one. It's funny what feelings the word FREE evokes. Once I realized I could get the Kindle for only $6 with my American Express Reward points its value and my interest increased.

So tomorrow is my last work day for eleven days. I'm excited about the time off, but not about the surgery on Monday. I know it's a necessary evil but I'm not looking forward to the days as a convalescent or to the crazy little bag I have to carry around with me for a couple of days.

The worst part? I have been working out for ten weeks in row and I've been running for two of those weeks. I won't be able to work out heavily for about four weeks, but hopefully I can start walking in a week. What I'm afraid of is that I'll take a week off and I won't want to go back to working out. That is my fear.

Today I made a huge step. The kids wanted eggnog and we stopped at an Exxon by the gym to get some but they didn't have any. We were almost home when I remembered (or rather they reminded me) so I told them I'd get them an eggnog shake form Jack in the Box instead. I went through the Jack in the Box line and I DID NOT get an egg nog shake for myself, egg rolls or the best part, any stuffed jalapeño. That is when I know that I'm learning self-discipline and that makes me happy.

So Kindle on Friday, last of the exercise this weekend and my surgery on Monday. Two days of bed rest and no driving, a week of no exercise and then back to work after New Year's. I'll use that week off to rest from the surgery and to really rest my brain and to decide what I'm doing in 2011 and with the next half of my life. I turn 41 in February. I am into my 40s now and really half way done with my life.

Pain is NOT my Friend

By Anne Taintor. Order yours today!

I'm not good with pain. Of course that's hard to believe when you consider the fact that I went twenty-two hours with no pain medication when I was giving birth to my first child. I so desperately wanted to have a natural child birth, void of any drugs. I literally heaved and tried to throw up from the pain.

I got to the 22 hour mark and the doctor said, "No!" I hadn't dilated to 10 and the baby was big. Now they were asking me to hold her in and to wait for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was in shock that I hadn't received an epidural and now he had to administer it in between my hard contractions. I sat on the edge of the bed, my head pressed hard against my husband's chest. My hands gripped his arms even harder. The doctor watched the monitor for my contractions and asked for my input. In between each contraction he steadily stuck the needle into my spine. I thought he was the most talented anesthesiologist ever. He didn't paralyze me for life as I had feared. Having a sister who was an OBGYN nurse and told horror stories since I was a baby didn't help.

I had another c-section after that one and the 2nd one hurt more than the first. I actually felt the epidural going in that time. I say it's because it was scheduled and planned and I knew it was coming. The first time everything happened so fast and I had already gone to that dark place with pain that the epidural was a piece of cake. I also healed slower from the c-section the second time around.

A year and a half ago I had elective surgery and that didn't hurt too bad. So I guess I wasn't really prepared for the pain I experienced from last week's surgery. Not fun!
When I removed the bandage a couple of days later and looked at my stitches I realized that they only went in through my belly button. I thought that he was going to cut around it as well for some reason. I was surprised that the stitches are all inside of my belly button.

No wonder it hurt so much! Our belly button is the center of our soul! Just think about it. When you are in utero you receive all of your nutrients through that cord that connects right into the center of your body. Now poke yourself in the belly button. Clean it out and see how it feels. Don't you feel a weird sensation? Now imagine being cut there... Not a great thought is it?

It's been five days since my surgery now and I'm finally off the strong stuff. I only had to take extra strength Tylenol yesterday. That Vicodin was evil! The side effects were killing me. I have no idea how anyone can become addicted to that horrible drug. What was Chandler thinking??

I'm feeling better but I still ache in my center. I still can only sleep on my back and not on my side like I like to sleep. I don't feel well enough to drive yet. But I can feel my body slowly healing. Our body is amazing, how we patch ourselves up.

A friend of mine experienced something really scary over the weekend that makes my surgery seem like small potatoes. Her leg had been bothering her for about three weeks and she just chalked it up to a pulled muscle. On Friday her leg became so swollen she ended up in the emergency room. It turned out that she had a blood clot in her leg and more in her lungs. She was very very fortunate that the blood clots gave her a warning sign in her leg. It shows us how important it is to pay attention to our body when it sends us a signal. Our body is talking to us every day. It’s our responsibility to listen. I’m glad my friend listened to hers because it saved her life.

Today is also the official debut of my cousin Oscar’s novel. You can read more about that over on my skirt! Blog.

I’m home these next 2 weeks and I’m going to pretend to be a stay at home mom/writer if I don't lose my mind first. I have a lot more to write while I’m here. I’ll keep you all posted.

P.S. Go over to Guanabee and check out this awesome interview with Oscar by my cousin Cindy.

Umbilical Hernias, Fear of Pain, and Death (it's fear of pain, not fear of death)

I wanted to post a picture of an umbilical hernia but they were just way too gross and I thought this picture of a little kid wearing a harness to hold in his umbilical hernia was better.

Every time I have to say I'm having surgery on my umbilical hernia I just cringe. I hate the way it sounds! I wish I was saying something a lot more exciting like I'm having a tummy tuck or something. But unfortunately I'm not. I'm going under the knife and anaesthesia next Wednesday to have this annoying thing fixed.

What else? Why is it that when you have a deadline like this over your head the days just fly back way faster than any other time ever? I am trying to tie up a bunch of loose ends at work and I need to make sure that I leave everything prepared for when I'm gone. The days are thus flying by like crazy.

And whenever I'm going under the knife and anaesthesia I get this little prick of fear that I'm either going to 1. wake up during surgery and that I'll feel everything or 2. that I won't wake up at all. I don't even know why I have that fear. I went completely under when I had my tonsils taken out when I was in 2nd grade, when I had all my wisdom teeth taken out when I was 16 and most recently when I had my lap band put in. Every time I've reacted well to the anaesthesia and I've woken right up like I was in a deep yummy sleep. So I don't know why I worry.

So Wednesday is the day. If I die know this. I didn't do everything I wanted to do in life but I got a bunch of good stuff done. I can't complain. (my friends hate when I talk about dying) I still didn't take my trip around the world.

But I CAN'T DIE because I'm hopefully going to MIAMI when I get back. YEAH! I have to go for work but I'm going to stay over the weekend like I often do when I'm going for work. I'm totally going to relax. I want to go to a spa so I can have a great massage and I'm going to go to South Beach. Can't wait!

Oh and on one last note my mother-in-law the saint took my kids overnight yesterday and Rey and I had the chance to go get margaritas at the little Mexican restaurant by our house and to be silly together. It was a great feeling. That's all.

P.S. Oh yeah, and Glow in the dark Mars Mud that we bought at the Children's Museum is awesome! It reminds me of that old Slime toy that was around when we were kids.