Thoughts of Daddy

My dad is 88 and all the funny and eccentric that you would expect from someone who has lived as long as he has. I guess he's earned that right when he's only 12 years from 100.

Picture by Loida Casares

I love this picture I took of him reading his Houston Chronicle, like he has all my life. Next to him on the wall is my son's birth announcement right below some gory pictures of one of my kids coming out of my stomach. I love the way he just has them pinned on the wall for any visitor to admirer. Thanks Daddy!

Picture by Diana Casares

I just sent this picture to my cousin recently. I knew he would love it. Even though you can't see all of my father's face it captures his mannerisms so well. This is my dad telling a story, with his hands out. I totally get my talking with my hands from him. He is so animated when he's telling a story, one of the reasons we have always loved hearing him. And I love the look on my cousin Oscar's face and how he's smiling at my dad, so obviously loving whatever he is hearing and just being with my dad and being able to enjoy still having him with us.

My dad turned 88 in March. We just went to our family reunion around 3 weeks ago. (That's where the picture above was taken.) We hadn't had one in over 30 years and he didn't get to go to the last one, when several of his brothers were alive. This reunion was especially special because my dad was there and he was the only original child of my grandfather and grandmother who could make it. I have one uncle left, but he's 93 and in a nursing home in California.

Yesterday my dad woke up feeling short of breath and like something was sitting on his chest. My sister took him to the hospital. They admitted him and decided to keep him overnight because his heart was accelerated. I went by to see him last night and my sister went to pick him up today. Instead she called to tell me that they couldn't get his heart regulated so they are keeping him another day.

Yes, I"m scared. He's 88, he already has a pacemaker, and if his heart is accelerated that isn't good. It shouldn't be doing that. All I can do is try to be positive, hope for the best, and appreciate the time I have with him.

Where Do the Days Go???

Seriously, where? I can not believe it's 4 p.m. and I haven't gotten anything written and I haven't cleaned my house.

It all started this morning when I woke up around 9 a.m. and realized that my sore throat had gotten worse. Rey went to play golf and I went back to bed around 10 for a little while, until my father came over and woke me up. I hated myself for sleeping the morning away, but I'm sure I needed it.

I went on with my day after he left but other things kept happening to interrupt it. I said I was going to write and then clean two hours ago and I am barely writing something. The day is gone and I haven't done a thing. Well, I wouldn't say nothing really. My dad was here, we read a Texas Monthly article together. We read my cousin Oscar's essay, "Imaginary Friends." I also told him a follow up story that Oscar told me after the essay was published. When your dad is 86, like mine is, those moments are precious because you don't know how long you'll have them.

I also cooked for my kids and their grandpa brought them "marranitos," gingerbread from his favorite Mexican cafe/bakery. They are gingerbread cut in the shape of little pigs. I used to love to eat them when I was little too, especially the ones my uncle made in his bakery.

I went over to read The Bloggess because I always like to read what's new with her and I was so touched by her blog about people in need and people who reply. What struck me the most was that she said that traffic had not gone up on her blog. Most of the people posting a need and those responding with a gift are her regular readers. I just find it awesome that she was able to create such a great community of readers. I only wish that people were willing to give and to share like this all year long and not only during the holidays.

I'm getting closer and closer to my vacation, which coincidentally is also when I'm having my little surgery. THAT is going to be interesting and painful post-surgery I'm sure with that thing hanging out of me for a couple of days. I AM NOT looking forward to that part of the surgery, but I am looking forward to the results.

On a good note I'll be off from work a total of seven work days with two weekends. That's 11 days in a row to relax, write, and to finish Seth's baby book. Yes, his baby book and he's six, going on seven. That's my life. Procrastinator is my middle name. Hopefully I will catch up on the baby book and writing during my days off.

Oscar Casares Reading from Amigoland (possible Oprah book choice)

Photo by Marsha Miller from Oscar's official website.

Only three days from now my cousin Oscar Casares will be reading from his novel, Amigoland, at his sister's (and my cousin too) restaurant, Sylvia's Enchilada Kitchen. 6401 Woodway Dr, near Voss. He's reading Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. but Sylvia will be serving a $12 buffet starting at 6:30 p.m. The bar will be open too.

I've written several times about Oscar and about his book. His book has been very personal to me, because I recognized the characters in his book, even if the average reader didn't. His two characters are so familiar and the book made me so happy and so sad at the same time. The two main characters are older men. And their personalities are so much a mix of Oscar's dad, my dad and our Uncle Hector.

To make things even more exciting... There are rumors flying about what will be Oprah's newest book club choice. On the list of possible suspects is no other than Amigoland! If Oscar's book is chosen this will be an amazing success story for him and for our family name. I hope that if you're in Houston you can come by and hear him. I will be there too and I would love to see as many people as possible there. So spread the word!!

Depeche Mode Was Awesome & More

Depeche Mode in Houston, TX, 8/30/09. Photo by Rey Ruiz

Last time I went to see Depeche Mode the Summit had just become the Compaq Center. They put on a great concert then. I don't know if it's that I'm older and I appreciate a good concert more now or if it's that I don't remember the last concert as well. The concert was so totally amazing! I read a great review on The Houston Chronicle's newest entertainment blog, Peep. It was written by no other than Joey Guerra. Read it and get chills.

On to other news. Read my skirt blog and the chron.com Peep blog (once again the Peep) about my cousin Oscar's upcoming reading at my other cousin's restaurant, Sylvia's Enchilada Kitchen. He will be reading from his novel, Amigoland.

As you can tell, I'm up and running again. Kids started school last week and I started work full time. I've been exhausted every day. My son started Kindergarten and he has brought home homework every day since school started. Well, they actually send a pack of five worksheets for him to work each day.

I'm online and blogging way too late as usual so I will say good night now. I need to go make school lunch for tomorrow.

Pain is NOT my Friend

By Anne Taintor. Order yours today!

I'm not good with pain. Of course that's hard to believe when you consider the fact that I went twenty-two hours with no pain medication when I was giving birth to my first child. I so desperately wanted to have a natural child birth, void of any drugs. I literally heaved and tried to throw up from the pain.

I got to the 22 hour mark and the doctor said, "No!" I hadn't dilated to 10 and the baby was big. Now they were asking me to hold her in and to wait for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was in shock that I hadn't received an epidural and now he had to administer it in between my hard contractions. I sat on the edge of the bed, my head pressed hard against my husband's chest. My hands gripped his arms even harder. The doctor watched the monitor for my contractions and asked for my input. In between each contraction he steadily stuck the needle into my spine. I thought he was the most talented anesthesiologist ever. He didn't paralyze me for life as I had feared. Having a sister who was an OBGYN nurse and told horror stories since I was a baby didn't help.

I had another c-section after that one and the 2nd one hurt more than the first. I actually felt the epidural going in that time. I say it's because it was scheduled and planned and I knew it was coming. The first time everything happened so fast and I had already gone to that dark place with pain that the epidural was a piece of cake. I also healed slower from the c-section the second time around.

A year and a half ago I had elective surgery and that didn't hurt too bad. So I guess I wasn't really prepared for the pain I experienced from last week's surgery. Not fun!
When I removed the bandage a couple of days later and looked at my stitches I realized that they only went in through my belly button. I thought that he was going to cut around it as well for some reason. I was surprised that the stitches are all inside of my belly button.

No wonder it hurt so much! Our belly button is the center of our soul! Just think about it. When you are in utero you receive all of your nutrients through that cord that connects right into the center of your body. Now poke yourself in the belly button. Clean it out and see how it feels. Don't you feel a weird sensation? Now imagine being cut there... Not a great thought is it?

It's been five days since my surgery now and I'm finally off the strong stuff. I only had to take extra strength Tylenol yesterday. That Vicodin was evil! The side effects were killing me. I have no idea how anyone can become addicted to that horrible drug. What was Chandler thinking??

I'm feeling better but I still ache in my center. I still can only sleep on my back and not on my side like I like to sleep. I don't feel well enough to drive yet. But I can feel my body slowly healing. Our body is amazing, how we patch ourselves up.

A friend of mine experienced something really scary over the weekend that makes my surgery seem like small potatoes. Her leg had been bothering her for about three weeks and she just chalked it up to a pulled muscle. On Friday her leg became so swollen she ended up in the emergency room. It turned out that she had a blood clot in her leg and more in her lungs. She was very very fortunate that the blood clots gave her a warning sign in her leg. It shows us how important it is to pay attention to our body when it sends us a signal. Our body is talking to us every day. It’s our responsibility to listen. I’m glad my friend listened to hers because it saved her life.

Today is also the official debut of my cousin Oscar’s novel. You can read more about that over on my skirt! Blog.

I’m home these next 2 weeks and I’m going to pretend to be a stay at home mom/writer if I don't lose my mind first. I have a lot more to write while I’m here. I’ll keep you all posted.

P.S. Go over to Guanabee and check out this awesome interview with Oscar by my cousin Cindy.

I Laughed, I Wanted to Cry

This isn't going to be your traditional book review of Amigoland. You see it can't be. Oscar Casares is my cousin and this book was very personal for me. But as an avid reader and an English minor I can tell you that yes, I would still think that it is a wonderful story even if I wasn't related to the author.

And besides all that, this is my blog so I can get up close and personal about this novel. You see, Oscar's father Everardo was 10 years older than my dad and he just passed away a year and a half ago. My Uncle Hector is 5 years older than my dad and in a nursing home outside of San Diego. He's lost most of his memory now and can't walk around very well at the age of 90. The last time my father really had a good visit and talk with him was 5.5 years ago when my Aunt Celia died in Fresno. My dad drove all the way to California by himself and picked up my uncle in San Diego and they drove together to Fresno. My dad, Nico, is 85 years old and his memory is really starting to go. It's getting harder to have a conversation with him these days because he gets lost. It's really sad.

Keep those facts in mind and think about what it was like for me to read a novel about two older brothers, ages 90 and 70. The older brother has been in a nursing home for a while and he and his brother haven't spoken in a few years, until the younger brother finally decides to go visit after much encouragement from his housekeeper/girlfriend.

The story is bittersweet and written in such a beautiful prose. Oscar's descriptions are vivid and his dialogue is entertaining. I love the dream sequences. In one, my favorite, Don Fidencio dreams that he sees his younger self and that he wants to speak to himself to tell him that he's going to make it and that he'll be okay.

Socorro, the housekeeper/girlfriend is so endearing. You feel for her when you hear the story about her unhappy marriage and how it ended. She is both kind and caring and you wish you can make everything turn out just right for her.

Celestino is a good man, but he doesn't really believe that he deserves the love of such a young woman, so it's hard for him to return her love. He's skeptical about his brother's story about how their grandfather came to Texas but his love for his brother (and some convincing by Socorro) makes him break him out of the nursing home so they can begin their adventure to Mexico.

Fidencio is clearly the main character of the two brothers. He has a very strong personality and he's hilarious in the way that he describes everyone by names he can remember, because he can't remember their actual name. So there's his roommate that's "the one with the hole in his back," another resident of the nursing home, "the one with the ugly finger." And there are the nurses, like the male nurse who he calls, "the one with the big ones." Fidencio is hands down the most entertaining of the brothers and the one I really became attached to. His failings pull at my heart strings, maybe because I see so much of my own father in him.

When I finished reading Amigoland I wrote my cousin and I told him, "It is SO VERY VERY GOOD!! Even better than your short stories, and those were good. You wrote a beautiful novel! Thank you for sharing it with me."

I'm not the only who thinks Amigoland is great! Publisher's Weekly has already given Amigoland a good review and it has been listed on USA Today's Summer Reading List.

If you read Oscar's collection of short stories, Brownsville, brace yourself for an even better read.

Amigoland by Oscar Casares

It’s here! My advance copy of Amigoland, the new novel by my cousin Oscar Casares. I can not wait to read it! So far just reading the synopsis and the first few pages have me hooked! I will let you all know more when I’m done reading.

In the meanwhile, the back of the book reads, “In a sleepy town nestled against the Mexican border live two brothers, Don Fidencio and Don Celestino. Aging, stubborn, and fiercely independent, they have more in common than either will admit, and an argument so old neither wants to concede.”

Coming in August 2009.

New Year & Goals

It's a new year and one of my goals is to write more and to try to get published more. I was very proud to get my first feature story on Gwendolyn Zepeda published on skirt! Houston this week. I'm also still blogging on the national and local page pretty frequently.

I am going to write more and submit more in 2009. That is my writing goal, among many others. Goals always make me feel like I'm moving forward. That's what keeps me motivated. Lists of goals and lists in general. I have a daily "To Do" list and of course a yearly one too.

In addition to that, the beginning of a year also means another birthday for me in February. THE BIG 39 this time. I don't celebrate birthdays however it's like the beginning of a new year. I take stock of my life at that time and I may even revise the goals I made at the beginning of the year.

Yesterday, on the anniversary of my mom's death, but not because it was her anniversary, I made turkey. Ironically the last time and only time I ever made a turkey was right before she passed away. I made it because she didn't feel well enough to do it herself any more.

I didn't think about her when we were having the turkey, but now that I thought about it it's really funny that I made turkey on the anniversary of her death.

My mom raised me with a very healthy belief in death, so I think that's why I can see the irony and humor in the coincidence. I know that she's fine and resting now. I also believe that I will see her again one day and that makes it all okay.

On another note, check out the story by my cousin Oscar Casares in the December issue of Texas Monthly.