Changing Blogs, Trying to Eat Healthy, Injuries of an Old Woman and Misc Musings

Time flies when you're having fun. I've said that a hundred times at least and it does. Especially after you have kids. It's the secret nobody tells you.

Very soon I'll be changing blogs. Yes, I know... it's been a long time that I've been blogging here about all kinds of miscellaneous things. But that's just it. This blog has so much potential to be so much more. So very soon it will become what it was destined to become all along - a true shoe blog. A blog about all things shoes, shoe reviews, etc...

(My very favorite shoe by Nine West)

So where will my personal musings go? I'm thinking that it's time to resuscitate Hips 'n Salsa. I can't believe it's been almost FOUR years since I blogged there! I said I was going to take a short break but come on! Four years later! I know the layout needs a serious face lift and I'm on it.

But that still hasn't happened so we're here and I have to tell you I am on DAY FIVE of one of the hardest things for me to do. I'm doing a detox!! I've been eating clean all week, no processed foods, nothing out of a bag. I cooked some chicken early in the week that I continued to eat in different ways the rest of the week. What makes it so hard for me is that I don't really cook. This is forcing me to prepare my meals thoughtfully and that's good. I'm also not drinking alcohol and I'm limiting myself on the caffeine. I went a couple of days with no caffeine at all and I didn't slap anyone.

On the 5th day I've already lost 5 lbs and that's considering I haven't been able to exercise because my back is out of wack and other things that usually make a woman weigh more once a month. So considering those things I bet that I lost more than 5 lbs. The other thought is this, if I stick it out the whole 28 days, will I drop 28 lbs? Or at least 25??

Regarding the injury. I have NO IDEA what happened to my back. The only thing I can think may have happened is that I was at a lacrosse tournament all day Saturday and the chairs I sat in or the way I stood up. It could have also been when I lifted the ice chest out of my car. Maybe I did it wrong. No idea, but my back has been KILLING me all week. It's been extreme pain at some points, especially at night or early in the morning.

First I had a hurt Achilles heel and I had therapy on that. Next I had a bike accident and I smashed my foot with my bike.  I had therapy on that foot. Right when I was feeling better from my foot and thinking that maybe now I could get back up on my bike, my back went out. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old.

I've made some notes when I think of some really good blog ideas but I haven't had a chance to write any of them.

So coming up: O Magazine had a great article recently entitled, "20 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself." I want to write about that.

There's also the question my son asked me one night regarding how many years do I have left to live and my attitude about death. Also about my dad being there now and seeing the Red Moon eclipse with him recently.

And finally a blog about clothes and why I don't wear clothes I really like, the same way I don't blog as openly as I'd like. I wish I was a true free agent, self-employed writer that said whatever she wanted to say and dressed as wacky as she wanted. But I'm not.

I Sabotage Myself

Friday while at the gym I was looking at my reflection in the big mirrors next to the treadmill and elliptical and I thought I looked really fat. My reasonable self knew that I've worked out for seven weeks straight so there is no possible way I can be fatter than I was two months ago. I also knew that I was bloated, particuarly on Friday, so of course my belly was probably portruding more than usual. However, I still looked at myself and I had one of those moments when I thought, "What's the point in working out?" It's a dangerous place for me to go.

Image borrowed from theseanachai.com

I remember coming back to school in 7th grade after working hard all summer on dieting and exercising, yes in 7th grade! And I remember my good friend Aristotole (yes, that's his real name) commenting to his friend Wayne right in front of me that I'd lost weight over the summer. Wayne turned around and said bluntly and matter-of-factly, "Yeah, but she's still fat." I remember that same feeling of what was the use. I didn't even like either boy. I was just a 7th grade girl feeling the peer pressure to look thin. Back then unless you were as skinny as some of the really slim girls you were considered fat. Middle school is definitely the time when girls lose their self-confidence. It's a brutal time.

Now I'm a 40 year old woman. I've survived middle school, high school, college, post college young years, marriage, pregnancies, 20 year high school reunion, and yet here I am, looking at myself in the mirror at the gym and feeling like that 7th grade girl.

And this is when I sabbotage myself. I start thinking like I did in high school and college that I'm overweight anyway and what difference will it do. I stop working out and I return to my same old habits.

This time I'm not. I'm going to take a shower and then I'm packing my gym bag for tomorrow and I'll keep on going. Today starts Week 8 and I already walked for one hour.

Tomorrow morning I'm going into the lap band clinic and I'm getting a long-needed fill. I'll address my concerns about the lap band working or not working, and then I'll be on liquids for two days and soft foods on the third day. This will be a good week for weight loss.