Thursday, July 06, 2006

Put On Your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It!

I was talking to this woman today and she was sharing some of her personal stories with me and a co-worker. Her mother gave her away to an aunt when she was just a little girl. The aunt and uncle raised her and she lived with them and their children until she got married. She had a really challenging life, as if being given away by her mother wasn’t enough. She went to a really tough high school where acid was passed around in class like Tic Tacs. It was really amazing to hear her story and really inspiring to hear what a survivor she is and how far she has come. Not only does she have a Bachelor’s degree, she is working on completing her Master’s and she’s married and has a four year old son.

I’ve been in a weird funk this week. A really weird one, and very opposite of how I had been feeling lately. (I’m starting to think it might be hormonal.) I’ve been trying to give myself an emotional pep talk these past couple of days and I’ve been thinking of ways to give myself therapy. I need a day of relaxation, a facial and a massage for starters!

When I went into work today I was already starting to come out of my funk and I told myself what I need to do. I’m going to do something really drastic and something that will push me to finish this book. I know that I work better under pressure and under deadline so I’m going to do something to give me that extra push that I need. So I had already made up my mind about this last night and I was thinking about it going into work today. Then I had that conversation with that woman and it finished me off. By that I mean I was thoroughly convinced of what I need to do to finish my novel.

Then at lunch I went out to run some errands and I drove by some women waiting for the bus as I often do. Sometimes they are mothers waiting for the bus balancing a baby and a toddler. Sometimes they are women who look like they are going to work in a cleaning uniform. When I see hard working women like this I think to myself, “I have nothing to complain about.”

If any of us can read this on this blog we really don’t have anything to complain about. If we have the luxury of a car, or riding a metro in a city with good transportation, if we have a computer, if we even have a job that pays us more than minimum wage, we really don’t have anything to complain about. Okay, we’re allowed to complain some, but I mean really complain. Venting is allowed.

But I think about that woman today, my co-worker. At least I wasn’t given away as a child. I didn’t grow up in an aunt’s home being treated like a step-child.

The only people who have room to complain are women who were abused either physically or sexually or have lived in war torn countries and anything in that same family of real problems.

I have so much to be grateful for and I just need to GET OVER any issues my family may have given me. Those issues are nothing compared to the hard life others have had.

Life is too short! We need to do what makes us happy and excited and we need to just get over it and get on with our lives!


~^^~L*C~^^~ said...

Wonderful Inspiring Post!!! Yeah, I like to say that we are rich with our blessings - not the material ones - but the ones that money cannot buy ie. family, our health.

Suvii said...

Shoegirl, what a wonderful post! I'm playing catch up with your blog, as I've been super busy the last few days with work. You are absolutely right! I have lived in a war-torn, poverty stricken country and it always reminds me that I am so blessed to have the opportunities and resources that I have as a woman. I wish you success in your pursuit of your dream and have no doubt you will make it happen! Have you ever considered letting yourself go away on writing retreat? Maybe just renting a lake house or cabin somewhere secluded and going off alone just to write?

Anonymous said...

this reminded me of when my ex and i separated back in 1985. he kept both cars which left me riding the bus. this was especially hard since my son was only 4 and needed a ride to preschool. it meant taking a bus at the preschool and then transfering to another bus to get to work by 8am. one day i was running to my transfer bus and the busdriver saw me but kept on driving. i remember feeling so exhausted and depressed that i stood at the bus stop sobbing. and then of course, when i arrived at work, my boss was angry because i was late. when i think back on those days....i am grateful for what i have now.

ShoeGirl Corner said...

Suvii, Great idea. I have thought of taking some time off to write and still sending the kids to the sitter. Now I'm saving all my vacation for when my daughter is off from school this Fall. I may do this when I go away to Miami for a couple of days for work in September or maybe I can do a weekend get-away.

Anonymous said...

Holy crapolie. I was going through this exact same thing (and coming to the exact same conclusion) on July 4 weekend. What I finally realized is the pain may not ever go away, but that's never an excuse for me to eff up my day today.