Monday, June 15, 2009

I Am Alive and I Do Know More than Music

OK. I'm not dead. I'm very much alive and very much caught up in all kinds of stuff and not enough of the good stuff. I am trying to juggle summer and too much freedom. Funny how that can be just as challenging as a restrictive schedule. I have too much time in the morning and I end up running like a chicken in the morning. I was really proud of myself this morning. I actually got to work a few minutes early to our 8:30 meeting. Amazing!

I don't want for life to pass me by so fast that I don't really appreciate the moments and make them count! I don't want for the days to speed by and that I miss all of these precious moments with my kids when they are little. But I also don't want to simply exist without any real meaning in life. That is my biggest fear. "Live to the point of tears." (camus)

My little boy was getting his hair cut Sunday and he was so cute having a conversation with the hair stylist. He kept asking her questions and she patiently answered every one. He was adorable! And my husband and I sat there just beaming and feeling so proud that our son is so smart and sociable. That's love!

The funniest question was when he asked the lady, "What happens when you put that bucket on your head?" (in reference to the old fashioned hair dryer) We laughed so hard! Earlier that day we had the joy of hearing him comment at our meeting, in his own words for the first time.

Tomorrow my daughter is modeling for the second time for the Uniform Superstore. She modeled for their mailer and newspaper insert last year and they needed another model again this year. She's really excited about doing it! So excited that she said "no" to a picnic field trip to model again. I knew she would. She's that big of a ham! Yesterday she too answered at our meeting on the fly and last week she answered in her own words and she made us so proud!

Stop and enjoy these moments. They will never be mine again. Regardless of what I believe about eternal life or what happens when we die, these moments, when they are little will never come back to me. This is it. This is the only time that they will be little like this. I must embrace it and rejoice in it. I will never be the mother of an eight and five year old child again...

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