Sunday, January 29, 2006

I Forget I'm a Mama Now!

Yesterday I had one of those weird moments where I felt completely different than I expected I would feel. I took Miranda to take the Vanguard test Saturday. We got there a few minutes early and signed in and we were instructed to go to the cafeteria to wait. They would call her name, take her to take the test, then they would bring her back and we'd go home to wait for the results. They won't mail those until April 10th. Can you believe we have to wait that long? That's when we'll get the test results, find out if she was accepted into Vanguard, and what school she'll be assigned to. I had to list my top three choices in order of preference.

The thing is this. When they called her name I panicked a little. First I thought the lady was leaving with the other child without us and I sprang up and ran quickly up to the front with Miranda. What resulted was that I felt a little frazzled and I felt like I got Miranda a little frazzled too. When I handed her over to the lady, who then handed her over to a little girl who would escort her to her testing room, I felt like it was all happening too fast. I felt scared all of a sudden. Scared for Miranda and nervous for her. I know she's brilliant but it was like for that moment I was afraid that they wouldn't see how brilliant she is. In other words I had a total Mama moment. I actually felt like crying.

I called Rey and I told him how I felt. He replied, "Great! You're also PMSing so I know that you're more emotional than usual. What great timing." His usual matter-of-fact reasoning made me laugh and it was just what I needed at that moment. I couldn't believe I was feeling this way. I couldn't believe I felt like crying.

Forty minutes later Miranda came back and I was calmer. I asked her what kind of questions they asked her and she didn't remember. She said they didn't ask to say her ABCs but they did show her pictures and asked her to point to letters. That's all she's offered so I'll probably never know what the test was like. I'll get the results on a profile sheet showing what different areas were tested and how she did, but that's it. Oh well!

It's Sunday. Meeting in an hour and a half. Kids are bathed and dressed. Seth is taking a nap. Miranda and I are going to eat some lunch before I get dressed. Life goes on. Reading is in ONE WEEK and I don't feel ready... Work is busy. We're getting ready to launch a website in Spanish this year... the usual.

1 comment:

Sangroncito said...

It will be interesting to read about the results and what the outcome is.