Wednesday, December 08, 2010

My Mother's Little Helper

This may end up as a crazy blog entry so I'm warning you ahead of time. So, you've been warned. And if it doesn't end up crazy then you're okay. I needed my mother's little helper today when I got home from work. Well first I had a nap, something I only do when I'm really tired or down in the dumps.

I had a tough day today. Yes, I did. I'm a mother, wife, and I'm an employee. I work full time against my better judgement, but I have to pay the bills. The problem is... do I dare say it here where the whole world can see it? I don't think my heart is in hard selling any more. It hasn't been in a while. I already sold and I'm done with that. I enjoy all of the product development part of a publication a lot more. I enjoy project management.

So I'm at a weird crossroads in my life yet again. There isn't a position like that open at work right now and as much as I really want to do it, I can't convince the powers that be that we need a position like this one, which we do. So I have to keep doing the job at hand because that's the job I've been assigned and it's also the job that pays the bills.

Enough said about that. I feel like my job is like a lot of other things in my life. I ask myself that question that's taped on my computer, "What would  you do if you knew you could not fail?" And the answer isn't practical when you're the mom of two young children.

I just know this that if by some miracle I came into money I would not live in Houston. I would live in a tiny house in the Italian countryside and I would write full time while the kids learned a new language or attended American school, depending on how close we lived to one. I would live a very simple life and I would concentrate on reading and writing all day long.

What would you do? I know I've asked that question before but it's a great one and I need to keep asking it of myself until I finally do something about it.

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