World's Best Mom

We all know I'm the world's best mom. I do all kind of great things for my kids and as a someecard says, I "give them love, nurturing, and just as much dysfunction to make them funny."

The Kids with Copernicus, the Homicidal Monkey

So I'm at the Bloggess' reading at Blue Willow Bookstore on Tuesday night for her new book, "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" and my niece and the kids went with me. The kids were so excited when they saw that Copernicus had made the trip too so I took this picture of them.

A guy and a girl that worked at the shop were cracking up at their antics and because they knew who Copernicus was. I told them that yes I let them read The Bloggess sometimes, because I'm a bad mother like that, but I figure they will exposed to things anyway in life. They agreed and while I clicked the picture I heard them laughing at how silly my children are and I overheard one of them say that when they see kids with that kind of sense of humor it gives them hope for the future. Awww!!

I thought at first that they would hear Jenny read but as it turned out the reading was outside and only my daughter went outside with me to hear her for a few minutes. She cracked up loudly the whole time and people kept turning and looking at us because yes, my daughter is loud like me. Go figure! The kids then spent the rest of the time inside looking at children's books while I waited forever to get my book signed (yes that many people showed up to hear the Bloggess)

The next day we had a parent-teacher-principal conference. Afterwards I asked Seth to tell the teacher and assistant principal what we did the day before. I'm all thinking that it will make me sound like a great mother that I take my kids to hear authors read. (never mind that Jenny uses the F word a lot)

He told them that we went to a reading and I pulled up this picture on my phone. Then he tells  them that he had seen Copernicus and  they were confused and said that Copernicus had died a long time ago. So he clarified that Copernicus was a "homicidal monkey."

At that point they both looked at me with concern in their eyes and I knew then that they knew that yes, I am the problem, because I expose children to inappropriate things. I felt like saying, "Don't mind us, we'll be leaving now." I gathered up Seth and we ran out of there.

There's a reason why my kids have a unique sense of humor. When my daughter asked me today what was my favorite word my reply as I drifted off to sleep was, "Macabre."

And We're Out of the Waiting Place

The wait is over!

On Friday I got out of teaching a class and I had a couple of missed calls so I checked my voice mail. And there it was... The call we had been waiting for all week. The call telling us that Miranda made it into our first choice middle school for Vanguard. I was thrilled!!

Apparently they moved down the waiting list quickly because Miranda was #65. The voice mail message said that I have until 8 a.m. on Monday to accept the invitation. Just on a fluke that they were still there working late I called. Of course they weren't working on a Friday at 5:30 so I left a voice mail message for the Vanguard coordinator and also followed up with an email. I'm making sure I cover all my bases and I'm calling again to confirm at 7:30 on Monday.

After that excitement I debated how I would surprise my little girl. I didn't want to just call and give her the news over the phone. I finally decided on some cupcakes from Kroger so I called my niece Hannah who takes care of her and her brother after school and told her that I'd be a little late. I had already worked late for a Friday too.

So I ran off to Kroger but when I got there I saw this cute little purple cake (above) and I asked the cake lady if she could add something real quick. She said she could and I debated what to write. I didn't want to just write a lame, "Congrats on Lanier" and "Congrats on Being Accepted at Lanier" just seemed way too wordy for such a little cake. Finally I remembered that their mascot was the Purple Pup. That just seemed very appropriate and I knew that it would take her a minute to get the message when she saw it.

My plan worked. When she saw the cake it took her a full 5 seconds to get what I really meant. When she realized that she'd been accepted she jumped for joy. I was so happy for her! It was so worth the wait and getting the cake. One of the wonderful joys of motherhood.

I know that Lanier is a really great school (not only one of the best Vanguard schools in HISD but also one of the best city wide) and I want for her to have the best foundation now for her future. That little girl has big goals and I want to give her all the support that I can as her mother. I want her to achieve more than I did because that's how it should be. Hugs to my big girl!

Update on Vanguard Middle School

Just yesterday I was blogging about my daughter going off to Vanguard kindergarten. I was blogging about the Vanguard test and waiting to find out what school she would be attending. I've blogged about public education and the Vanguard system several times over the years.

Cute image from michigan.gov

Well here we are SIX YEARS later and we are in the waiting place waiting to find out what middle school Miranda will be attending. We didn't have as many choices inside the loop, as we did the first time around for elementary school. We really only had one first choice. The others were okay choices, but not the best. We had one great choice for a magnet school back-up and thank goodness she did get into that one. However, she was wait-listed #65 for the our first choice Vanguard school.

What does this mean? When you apply for Vanguard you have to list  your 3 school choices in order of preference. First they check all your test scores, report card grades, and teacher recommendation to see if you even made it into Vanguard. Next they do a lottery. They choose their designated number of students and wait list all the rest who want to go to their first choice school.

We received a letter on Monday telling us that Miranda was accepted into the Vanguard program for middle school, however she was #65 on the waiting list for her first choice school. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that our first choice school is also everyone's first choice school. My initial reaction was sadness and then as the day went on, and via facebook conversations and comments, I found out that #65 is actually really good. I found out that the school got as high up as #242 on the waiting list last year.

How is this possible? They send out the letters and parents start calling in to accept or decline. Once they have all the replies on April 9 they start calling down the waiting list. So that's when we get called. One mom told me that anything under 100 is "golden."

Now to wait until April 9 to get the official offer so we can celebrate!

Breaking Away From Control

Recently I seem to be hearing so many stories about domestic violence and controlling partners. Partners who think they can control a woman and if they can't they will resort to physical violence if they have to. They think they can force her to do what they want. I admire women who have had the strength and the courage to break away from controlling situations.

(Image borrowed from Emergency Egg)

In many of these situations controlling behavior starts verbally. In this great article that I came across it makes so many good points and the image that I found to express verbal abuse is such a great illustration of what a partner does when he (or she) is verbally abusing a partner. This is exactly how it feels.

The sad thing is that these partners do not realize how the controlling behavior affects the other person. "Verbal abuse is a way of exerting power over a partner and denying her individuality." The more often that a partner is abusive the other person starts to question her own actions. She starts to believe that maybe she should have done something differently. The partner often says things like, "You make me this way. You push me to acting this way. You don't know how to talk to me."

The hardest thing for a woman to do is to realize that this isn't true. It is NOT her responsibility to make her partner feel a certain way about himself and it is not her fault if he acts out in anger. That is HIS choice and NOTHING is an excuse for verbal or physical abuse.

I'm not saying that the woman should be abusive too, or ugly, or provoke him. But it isn't her fault if she isn't doing any of these things or if all she is doing is expressing her feelings. With men like this a woman is not even allowed to express her feelings because it will set him off and make him lash out in anger. Thus the control.

When a woman leaves a controlling or verbally abusive relationship she can feel broken. She feels like her wings have been broken and like she needs to mend them before she can fly again. She has to take the time to heal and maybe even find her voice again. Sadly, if she's been in the relationship a long time she has to mentally heal too. She has to get her partner out of her head and she has to stop being afraid. Don't ever judge a person who has been in a relationship like this because you don't know what she has been through mentally and emotionally.

Despite tremendous progress in laws against domestic violence, an average of three women in America die as a result of domestic violence each day. EACH DAY!!! Those are staggering statistics and they need to stop.

There are some things that we can do to help and we don't have to wait for Domestic Violence Awareness Month to do it. Here locally the Houston Area Women's Center is always looking for volunteers. There's also La Rosa Family Services, who is always in need of funds and volunteers. Right now they are providing services at the Denver Harbor Community Center. If you can't volunteer your time, volunteer your money to organizations like these. If your company is involved with the United Way you can elect where your money goes. I've done this before with the Houston Area Women's Center.

If you are in an abusive relationship where you need to get out, do it now. Break away from the control! Don't become a statistic.

On My Soapbox About Education

OK, not really. I won't get on my soapbox. I'm just going to discuss some really disturbing figures. At least they are disturbing to me, maybe not to the politicians like Santorum who don't care if the lower or middle class get an education.

(Borrowed from http://eriktorenberg.blogspot.com/ who apparently borrowed it from A Time to Cherish Photography.)

This week I was looking at new research numbers for Houston and I learned that that only 2.7% of all Houston Hispanics have post-graduate degrees. Only 10.3% of Hispanics actually graduate from college, yet 22.6% have some college. Meaning that of that 22.6% some have associate degrees or went to college but didn't finish. 

Why does this matter? Because Hispanics are seriously lacking in higher education. I've blogged about this before, but that was two years ago. This research is the most recent data and when I read it it just makes me sad. There is so much work to be done in middle schools, high schools and even in the junior colleges and universities.

Thank goodness for organizations like Project Grad that help students stay in school and to graduate from college. I've had the privilege of mentoring a couple of Hispanic girls through this program in the past. I've also mentored kids in college and a couple of middle school girls. The best experience I've had so far was mentoring the girls with Project Grad and UH students.

So what can we do as a community? Get involved! Get involved with programs like Project Grad, Girls Inc. and other similar organizations. Call your local high schools and middle schools and find out when they are having their career days and volunteer to go speak to them. Schools are always looking for speakers. Educate them about scholarships and financial aid for them to go to college. Some kids are the first ones in their family to aspire to having a higher education and they may not even know what is available to them.

So this is my challenge to every one of you. Mentor a student this year. Whether it's a middle school, high school, or even a college student. If we all mentor one student to make it through school and to graduate from high school and then eventually college, we will make a difference. Also, volunteer at a local school, any school.

And if you're a parent, be the best parent you can be. Get involved in your child's education. I'm not perfect, but education is very important to me and something I really believe in. Be an example to the young people of today that will be the adults of tomorrow.