Sunday, November 10, 2013

Old Blog Posts, Life and Living with Imperfections

I was driving down a street by my dad's kingdom hall today and I saw a horse tied to a tree with a For Sale sign written on the back of an orange traffic sign and tacked to a tree. Only in the ghetto and in Texas. I swear!

It made me think of a blog entry I wrote once called "Horses in the Ghetto" but when I Googled that title with my blog name I couldn't find it. All I found was some song by the same title. Very weird. Maybe I wrote it somewhere else, or maybe it's missing now. Now I'm starting to think it may have been a poem.

In Googling my blog post I came across other blogs I've written and I always love doing that. I especially love the blogs about the kids when they were little. Seth was just a baby when I started this blog and he's 9 now. I always tell myself I should print all my blogs into a bound book and I haven't done it yet. I need to. What if something crazy happened and Blogger folded and took all my blog posts with it?

Life is passing me by way too fast. How is it already November of 2013? How has it been two years since my divorce? And HOW is it already six months since I quit my job? The time has come for me to either start making some serious money at my business or for me to get a full time job and back into Corporate America. On a good note, I just recently signed on with a newspaper in New Jersey. I really like the publisher of this paper and I think I'll really enjoy working for her. I just need to sell something for these publications now!

I read Brené Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection" not too long ago and I started reading "Daring Greatly" but I got side-tracked by another book and I need to go back and finish it when I finish this book I'm reading.

The point is this. Yesterday I came across a Huffington Post article about the 14 signs of perfectionism and it freaked me out. As I read the article I started checking off all the ones that reminded me of me and what freaked me out was that I was able to check off at least 11 of the 14 signs. OK, I'll share two things. (cringe) I'm a big procrastinator and I know there's no use crying over spilt milk... but I do anyway. Terrible I know.

I thought, "How can I be a perfectionist? I'm fat and I my house is a mess." I'm definitely not a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning. But then I remembered that I read something like this in "The Gifts of Imperfection." I don't have the book with me because I let a friend borrow it but I think that I can be a perfectionist even if my life is a mess because my problem is that I worry about all those things and I don't end up doing anything at all.

Even though I read the book I kept thinking as I read it, "Oh that's not me. I'm not a perfectionist." Now I'm thinking I need to go back and read that part of the book again and I need to take a honest look at myself. It's hard, but I do...

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