Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Back to the Gym

You all haven't heard me talking about the gym in a while because I haven't been there in a while. I was doing so good for a while there. I was on a roll and then BAM! just like that I fell off the wagon. It's sad really. Especially considering how important this weight loss thing is, like life and death important. I keep telling myself, "Tomorrow I'm going to the gym," and then I don't. What got really sad was when the kids started asking me, "When are we going back to the gym?"

Why does it have to be so hard? It really shouldn't be. Simply put it should just be something we do naturally. I tell myself, "You know what you have to do. You just need to do everything you know you should." That includes preparing for my meetings (JW), exercising, reading to the children, and writing.

I said I was going to write about the balance between spirituality and life and I probably still will, but this has to do with it too. I really believe my life depends on my spirituality. They are intertwined and a part of each other. I should feel the same way about my health and that includes exercising on a regular basis.

As I was on the torture device, otherwise known as the elliptical machine, today I had an epiphany of sorts. First let me tell y'all. I finally bought that book I mentioned a while back. "Like Mother, Like Daughter: How Women Are Influenced by Their Mother's Relationship With Food-And How to Break the Pattern" by Debra Waterhouse. It's out of print so I found it on Powell Books and ordered it. When I got to the gym today the kids were asleep so I waited a few minutes and I started reading the introduction to the book.

Later when I was on the elliptical machine I started thinking about something that I think about often and what prompted me to buy that book. I started thinking about my kids and how Rey and I are their role models. I'm always thinking about that. When Miranda tells me she wants to be skinny I worry that I'm screwing her up already! I quickly tell her she wants to be "healthy." I don't want for her to struggle with her weight but I sure don't want for her to be anorexic or bulimic either.

So as I'm thinking about all this I think of yet another reason why I should be motivated to continue on my "get healthy" quest. (notice I didn't say diet or lose weight) It hit me that while she was inside of me I worked so hard to keep her healthy, eating all the right things and taking my pre-natal vitamins. I was gestational diabetic with both pregnancies but I worked so hard eating right and exercising.

The thing is when you have diabetes running in your family, like we do, and even when you don't, the best protection we can continue to offer our children after they are born is a healthy lifestyle. This includes being an example to them from infancy, continuing to eat right and to exercise. If I start to take care of myself again and I'm a good example to her of good health then I'm continuing to give her the same protection I did when she was inside me. If I don't do that, then what was the use in me taking such good care when I was pregnant? Interesting questions to ponder.

I know I should take care of myself for myself because I want to live a long life, but I also want for my children to be healthy. I always remember what one endocrinologist said when I was pregnant with Miranda and how mad it made me, but now in retrospect I realize what he said was true. He had an intern with him and he/she (I can’t remember if it was a man or woman) was watching the doctor check my sugar counts, my legs, etc..

The doctor turns to the intern and says to him as if I’m not even there, “You’ll notice that the ones who take the best care of themselves are the pregnant women because of the baby.”

I got so mad because I wanted to think that even if I wasn’t pregnant and if I was a diabetic I would still take care of myself. He knew what he was talking about after all. Diabetic or not, it is hard to keep up that kind of discipline that I had when I was pregnant.

"Life is fine balancing act," as Dr. Seuss says. There we go. It's all a balance. Just do what you know you have to do. Easier said then done but that's what I have to do.


El G├╝ero said...

Body image issues are so difficult, aren't they?

I hope you find a way to make exercise as much a natural part of your life as breathing and eating.

Anonymous said...

funny how M. tells you she wants to be skinny because K. tells us the same thing. We tell her its all about being healthy too. Girl they are to little to be thinking like that. I began going to Curves to help me mainting a healthy lifestyle. So keep up yours. Besos!

Anonymous said...

I'm on that same roller coaster!!! I have stuggled with those issues for YEARS!!! Like you, I do great for a while and then OOPS! I'm off the wagon, I stop excersising. Then I get depressed, eat, get more depressed, eat more until I can't remember if I'm eating because I'm depressed or if I'm depressed because I'm eating. HELP!!!!

ShoeGirl Corner said...

Strega, So many women do this! We're not alone. I'm reading this Mothers and Daughters & food book and it is so good so far. It talks about the way we've been socialized to think since the 60s when the rail thin models like Twiggy first came out. I'll keep y'al up to date on the book review and tell you if it's worth reading.