I have a reoccurring dream every so often. I'm in college and I have to take a test for a class I never went to all semester. When I check my schedule I was supposed to have taken the class but for some reason, unexplained to me, I never went to class. In the dream I'm always having an anxiety attack and I'm asking myself first of all, why didn't I go to class? I realize that somehow I forgot to go all semester long.
Next I'm trying to figure out if I can go ahead and take the test and just guess at the answers or should I just forget it all together? And the best part is this. This is my last semester and if I fail this class I'm going to have to go back to school for one more semester just to take this class. Not the end of the world, but in my dream I feel like it is.
I always wonder what this dream means. I don't mean in some psychic sense, because I don't believe in that. I mean in a psychological sense. I know that I must be feeling inadequate in some area of my life.
Last night I had an interesting twist to this dream. I was in Miranda's class and they were having a test, maybe a spelling test, that I knew nothing about. I was walking Miranda into her class room, which I never do, we drop the kids off in front of school. I panicked when I realized they were having a test. I hadn’t even had time to study the words with her. It changed and it was me taking the test instead of her and it was her teacher administering the test.
This time the dream is crystal clear to me and maybe it explains my own dream too. I feel out of control. For the first time in Miranda's life I feel like I'm somewhat out of control of the situation. By out of control I mean that I'm not there with her in school watching what she says and does. She is now on her own as far as her behavior. I'm also out of control as to whether she listens to the teacher and learns. She has to do it on her own. It's my job to build on that when she comes home, but I’m really not in control of what happens while she's in school.
And what about the part about me taking the test instead of her? I think I must feel responsible for her success or failure. I feel like I too am being graded as a parent. I’m terrible about getting her to school on time! That’s something that I struggle with every day. I have to get her to school by 7:55 because they bell rings by 8 and instead I always slide into the driveway by 8:05, right before the tardy bell, but still late none-the-less. I beat myself up about it every day, but I still continue to run late.
Isn’t that crazy? I guess it’s part of the craziness of being a parent. The funny thing is that it answers the question about my own dream too. I guess I am a control freak after all! :) As if we didn't all know this.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
New Photo
How do you like the new picture of me? Lapel badge and all! Hey! Does anyone know where that picture in the top right corner of the page is? I just chose this new template but I'm wondering what that's a picture of. Is it in NYC? If anyone knows post a comment or send me an e-mail. There's a link to my e-mail on my profile page. Thanks for reading and come back soon!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
New Look
I was getting bored with the same 'ol same 'ol. I'm trying to change the picture on my profile too. That's next.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Procrastination 101
I have always been a procrastinator, but ever since the children started school I have taken it to the next level. I got a ticket going to Austin a few weeks ago. Yes, I know I know. I tend to be a speed demon when I'm in the car by myself. Anyway, I was speeding down Hwy 71 and there behind some trees was our friendly local law enforcement agent. He was actually very polite and to the point.
I kept telling myself I needed to take care of that ticket but of course I never did. Then I went to Miami and I was really running out of time.
So here we were the last week of the month and I decide to look at the ticket. I find out that if I want to take defensive driving I need to have the form notarized! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Then I need to pay the fee online by the next day and it has to be postmarked on the 27th too.
It was 11 o’clock at night on the 26th and I called my cousin. I forgot she’s not a notary any more. Next morning I called my friend and she’s not a notary any more either, but her father-in-law is. So the next day I had a sales call in Cleveland, Texas and on my drive back in I stopped at her husband’s insurance office because her father-in-law works there.
I had the paper notarized, I continued to work for the day, picked up the kids from school and went to the gym. I figured I’d pay the fee for the ticket when I got home and then get to the post office before midnight, so that it could be postmarked by the 27th.
First off, my Internet decided not to work. I could not get to the official payment website to pay the fee. Of course it didn’t. That’s what happens to you when you procrastinate. I had to wait for my husband to get home and then of course he got home later than usual. He couldn’t get the Internet to work, but it did work on my laptop. He hooked my laptop up to the printer and I went ahead and paid it there. I needed to have a print out showing that I’d paid the ticket to include in the mailing with my notarized form. By now it’s 11 p.m.
I get to the post office at 11:15 and when I got to the drop box I see that it says that the last pick up time was 8 p.m. I panic. My mother always told me that if you mail something before 12 a.m. at the main post office it will be postmarked for that same day. I went to the post office with her at night many times, which is what I told the man who came to the window when I rang the doorbell.
I asked him if there was any way he could take my letter and postmark it for the 27th and he told me absolutely not. Apparently they stopped postmarking mail before midnight three years ago. My mom passed away six years ago so she wouldn’t have known that.
Then I told him my predicament. I begged and asked if there was any way at all that he could do it. Finally he said there was a way. He told me to use the machine that they have set up to send packages. You can also buy stamps there and it’s dated the date that you buy it. Since I already had stamps on my envelope he said he’d show me how to get a 1 cent stamp.
He looked like Morgan Freeman with a beard and he had that same impatient attitude with me, like he was half amused and half exasperated. He’d growl at me when I didn’t punch the button fast enough. “I said, ‘Enter’” he said impatiently. It was really funny. I thanked him profusely and told him I would always remember him. He said that at least now they wouldn’t have to send a warrant out for my arrest.
That reminded me. When I was reading the paperwork that they gave me with the ticket, earlier that night, it listed the different options. Option 1- Pay Ticket, Option 2- Take defensive driving, etc.. Option 5 was “Do Nothing.” Then it said that the consequences were that they would send a warrant out. When Rey saw me struggling that night to get the ticket fee paid and mailed off he said, “So you chose Option 5.” That’s our new saying now.
I kept telling myself I needed to take care of that ticket but of course I never did. Then I went to Miami and I was really running out of time.
So here we were the last week of the month and I decide to look at the ticket. I find out that if I want to take defensive driving I need to have the form notarized! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Then I need to pay the fee online by the next day and it has to be postmarked on the 27th too.
It was 11 o’clock at night on the 26th and I called my cousin. I forgot she’s not a notary any more. Next morning I called my friend and she’s not a notary any more either, but her father-in-law is. So the next day I had a sales call in Cleveland, Texas and on my drive back in I stopped at her husband’s insurance office because her father-in-law works there.
I had the paper notarized, I continued to work for the day, picked up the kids from school and went to the gym. I figured I’d pay the fee for the ticket when I got home and then get to the post office before midnight, so that it could be postmarked by the 27th.
First off, my Internet decided not to work. I could not get to the official payment website to pay the fee. Of course it didn’t. That’s what happens to you when you procrastinate. I had to wait for my husband to get home and then of course he got home later than usual. He couldn’t get the Internet to work, but it did work on my laptop. He hooked my laptop up to the printer and I went ahead and paid it there. I needed to have a print out showing that I’d paid the ticket to include in the mailing with my notarized form. By now it’s 11 p.m.
I get to the post office at 11:15 and when I got to the drop box I see that it says that the last pick up time was 8 p.m. I panic. My mother always told me that if you mail something before 12 a.m. at the main post office it will be postmarked for that same day. I went to the post office with her at night many times, which is what I told the man who came to the window when I rang the doorbell.
I asked him if there was any way he could take my letter and postmark it for the 27th and he told me absolutely not. Apparently they stopped postmarking mail before midnight three years ago. My mom passed away six years ago so she wouldn’t have known that.
Then I told him my predicament. I begged and asked if there was any way at all that he could do it. Finally he said there was a way. He told me to use the machine that they have set up to send packages. You can also buy stamps there and it’s dated the date that you buy it. Since I already had stamps on my envelope he said he’d show me how to get a 1 cent stamp.
He looked like Morgan Freeman with a beard and he had that same impatient attitude with me, like he was half amused and half exasperated. He’d growl at me when I didn’t punch the button fast enough. “I said, ‘Enter’” he said impatiently. It was really funny. I thanked him profusely and told him I would always remember him. He said that at least now they wouldn’t have to send a warrant out for my arrest.
That reminded me. When I was reading the paperwork that they gave me with the ticket, earlier that night, it listed the different options. Option 1- Pay Ticket, Option 2- Take defensive driving, etc.. Option 5 was “Do Nothing.” Then it said that the consequences were that they would send a warrant out. When Rey saw me struggling that night to get the ticket fee paid and mailed off he said, “So you chose Option 5.” That’s our new saying now.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Thank You Fall
Why do I love Fall so much? I love love love the crisp cool morning air. This morning I had to put sweaters on Miranda and Seth. Seth's group is always playing outside early in the morning so he especially needed it.
Fall always reminds me of new beginnings. It reminds me of the start of the school year and football games. I used to love to go to football games in middle school and high school, especially because of the feeling of standing out in the stands in the cool air.
It also reminds me of being in college and going to parties around this time of year.
Exciting things always seemed to happen at this time of year. I don't know why. Maybe it's because everyone feels this same excitement. After a long hot summer we welcome this wonderful cool weather. We all have the idea that something new and exciting is about to happen.
Today during lunch I decided that my short Chapter 1 should be my Introduction and I'm going to write a new Chapter 1.
Fall always reminds me of new beginnings. It reminds me of the start of the school year and football games. I used to love to go to football games in middle school and high school, especially because of the feeling of standing out in the stands in the cool air.
It also reminds me of being in college and going to parties around this time of year.
Exciting things always seemed to happen at this time of year. I don't know why. Maybe it's because everyone feels this same excitement. After a long hot summer we welcome this wonderful cool weather. We all have the idea that something new and exciting is about to happen.
Today during lunch I decided that my short Chapter 1 should be my Introduction and I'm going to write a new Chapter 1.
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