Saturday, May 16, 2009

And Then I Had To File Bankruptcy

No, not really. But that's how I feel right now. I have had one of the worse weeks I've ever had in a very long time. Career-wise, money-wise, car-wise, etc... My transmission blew out and I had to pay a huge amount of money to get it fixed. Now when I am super tight on money.

I had a very unproductive conversation with someone at work that didn't make me happy. Well, I can't say it was totally unproductive, because it told me a lot about where things stand and where I stand.

I seriously feel like I am at a crossroads in my life and that I need to re-visit my goals in life. Yes, I am one of those people that always writes her goals down.

I always find those studies interesting. The ones on people who wrote down their goals early in life and how successful they are or aren't today. I think success really depends on the person's own definition of success, not the definition of someone else.

I know that early in life I measured my success with my career. Today I wouldn't say I measure it the same way. I remember wanting to have a successful career and there was never any question in my mind that I wouldn't work.

Having children changed all of that. Now I wish I could be a stay at home mom and a writer. If I had chosen that route I would be able to write during the day while they are in school. Summers I would be busy with activities surrounding them. Shoulda, coulda, woulda... Of course I still could, but it would mean a complete lifestyle change.

And that's the hilarious thing. I am having to go without as much money as I used to make because of the economy and other changes at work. If I can survive in this new economy with less money then I can also survive in a different career. Maybe it is time to start thinking about a change.

1 comment:

kyradavis said...

I get a really big way. I'm in my 30s and already I feel a pre-mid-life-crisis coming on. So many things are different than what I had planned on...not worse really but very, very different and I too am trying to re-examine the meaning of success (both on a personal and professional level). I don't want what I used to want and that in and of itself is disconcerting.

But Lodia you have been one of my most loyal readers. Your emails and comments have motivated me when I was feeling down on my luck. I absolutely do NOT do this very often but I would like to send you a free copy of my latest book. It's a small thing but I want you to be able to enjoy a little escapist fiction without dipping into your financial reserves. Email me your address and I'll send it on its way.