Friday, May 18, 2007

I'm Awful at this Mom Thing

Okay, I know I'm being hard on myself. I know I'm a pretty good mom most of the time but sometimes.... Like today. It was Field Day at school. Miranda had already let me know that she was feeling stressed about competing. My sister was giving us a ride to work and school because Rey had to get some work done our truck. Well, being that we were doing things out of our regular routine, I forgot to give her her lunch kit. My sister took her to school first and then came back for me. She said that she'd take it to my daughter later so I didn't stress too much.

I was also worried because she didn't have a red t-shirt. I didn't find out her team/class was wearing red t-shirts until Thursday and then I didn't have time to get her a t-shirt. Now suddenly I was beating myself up for not going out of my way, even if it was to go to Walmart at midnight, to get her a red t-shirt. I started remembering what it was like to be that age and to feel awkward and out of place.

My sister called me later to tell me she made it to school just in time to take Miranda her lunch and that when she walked in Miranda had a distressed look on her face, because she didn't think my sister was going to make it on time. My sister also noticed that everyone had on a red t-shirt except my poor little girl and one other little boy. I felt so bad!!

I told my sister that we were terrible, stressing her out that way. Her for taking her her lunch at the last possible minute and me for not going out of my way to get her a red t-shirt. I told her that it reminded me of the stressful situations I found myself in sometimes when I was a kid. She asked like what. I told her about the time I threw up.

I can't remember what grade I was in, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade. I was at lunch and some kids starting playing with food, which always grossed me out. This time they were throwing around a napkin with applesauce all over it. It landed on my tray and that was it. I lost it. I threw up everything I had just eaten.

The teacher sent me to the nurse's office and they called my parents. Unfortunately this was before cell phones (the 70s) and my mother was at work that day. I had no other choice but to put on the hideous clothes they gave me while they went and washed my clothes in the dishwasher, I think. I figured I would just hide out in the nurse's office until my clothes was ready. Of all days, they decided to paint the nurse's office.

Now I found myself out in the hall in the horrible clothes. The pants were crazy plaid gaucho pants and I can't remember the shirt, except that it was ugly. I wished that I could disappear. I remember sitting there and wishing I was invisible. I could not believe that that was happening to me.

Some kids even walked by and asked me what I was wearing.

When my clothes finally came back they smelled like they had been washed with the dirty dish rags. It was horrible and definitely one of the worse days of my life. Oh what warm memories!

The happy ending to Miranda's story is that when I picked her up this afternoon she said that she had a lot of fun. She chose to participate in the zig zag race and she said another little girl's mother let her borrow a red t-shirt. I asked about the little boy that my sister saw and she said that he did have a red t-shirt too. Alls well that ends well!

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