Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Back to Restriction and Eating Healthy

Magnet by Anne Taintor

I guess I've posted this image before because it was in my files. Today it's appropriate because I'm going to get a fill tomorrow.

Almost four weeks ago I got really tight, like abnormally tight. I couldn't get anything down. I had been sick and I'd had a lot of sinus drainage. It was affecting my lap band too. So I went in to have some fluid taken out of the band. When I got there I realized that I hadn't been there in 6 months and I hardly even lost any weight. What a waste of time!

The crazier part is that I was so tight most of the time. It doesn't even make sense. The only think I can attribute it to is that since I couldn't eat most of the day my body thought it was starving. So when I could finally eat late in the evening I ate too much and my body held on to all my fat.

On top of that I had the umbilical surgery at the beginning of August and I couldn't really work out for four weeks. Four weeks turned into eight and then twelve. That can happen so easily.

So I had them take out .7 cc from the band and I was able to eat for a change. It was a nice break. I still haven't eaten breakfast or even tried. I only have coffee and a protein shake. I've been having a more "normal" lunch and dinner. Not every day, but it's been nice to have some flexibility in my diet. Some days I still only have soup for lunch and a small dinner.

Tomorrow I go back in to get tightened up again. It's time! I had a good break. I ate some things I had missed, like Kim Son Vietnamese and Sawadee Thai. Now it's time to get back on the wagon. I'm going to get a fill tomorrow, but I'm going to tell them to only put .3 cc back. I think it's a good half way point. I'm going to see how that works.

This whole process has been an interesting journey. I've actually learned a lot about myself and my addictions. I have addictive behavior. I've pretty much recognized that about myself. I transferred some of my addiction to food to other things. I recognize that what I need to work on is my addiction instead of what I'm addicted to. I believe that recognizing this about myself has been the most valuable benefit of the lap band. I also believe that realizing this and admitting it is very healthy of me. It is one of the things that I want to change about myself as I enter forty.

Every time I think about this I think about what my lap band doctor told me the day before my surgery. He said, "Some people get a lap band here (pointed at his stomach) but they don't get a lap band here (pointed at his head)." That has stayed with me every since.

I know I have been less than perfect. I could have lost more weight, and I still can. I just need to find my groove again and I will get there. I need to get back to the gym. I know what I need to do. Get off my butt and exercise!

My husband has been following a vegetarian diet with fish and it's working really well for him. I need to support him in his endeavor and in the process I too will feel healthier. I've already cut all bread and rice from my diet. I can cut meat now too. Fish is so good for you!

So that's my plan. To cut all red meat and chicken out of my diet and to start exercising on a regular basis again. I'm putting it out there so I can be more accountable.

The next 3 days will be my kick in the butt. After a fill I have to stay on liquids for two days and then soft foods for the third day. That's always tough but it's what I have to do when the lapband and therefore my stomach has been moved. It's also a good launching pad into increased restriction. So we shall see!

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