Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Toilet Eye (aka gangrene eye)

If I wake up tomorrow with gangrene of the eye don't ask. One of those things happened to me that only happens to me.

Yeah, it's right up there with the time at work that the toilet seat cover formed a funnel or tunnel and shot my pee back out to my underwear when I sat down to pee. Yeah, that happened to me. I debated whether or not to blog about it and now I'm fessing up. But this time something worse happened.

THIS time I went to the restroom and my face felt extra oily so I took my toilet seat cover and I popped out the center circle and blotted the oil on my face. When I did that I poked myself in the eye with the edge of the tissue. I thought it felt weird but didn't think twice about it and I threw the "tissue" in the toilet.

I then took the toilet seat cover and proceeded to cover the toilet seat, so I could pee. WELL, wasn't I surprised when I realized my eye felt weird for some reason. My contact was stuck to the side of the tissue and inside the toilet. It was actually stuck to the inside of the bowl, on the side, right on the edge of the water. Not quite in the water but still, half on the tissue and half touching the INSIDE of the toilet bowl. I hesitated for one second and considered just leaving it. But then I thought about driving home with one eye and then I also remembered I really needed to go to the gym and I decided to bite the bullet and to pull it out.

Yeah... I pulled my right contact lens out of the TOILET people and then washed it and rubbed it to death, as hard as I could, without ripping it and I PUT IT BACK INSIDE MY EYE!!!

So now you know. I may wake up tomorrow with some insane eye infection and I will not be surprised at all. I just hope my health insurance DOES NOT read my blog because then I'm seriously messed up. They'll never cover my expensive eye surgery for the gangrene because they'll say I knew what I did all along.

I got home and I quickly proceeded to throw away my right contact and to put on my glasses for the evening. I'm playing up the whole sexy librarian thing now, with gangrene of the eye. Good night!

2 comments:

Playwright Chick said...

OMG! That is so GROSS!!! Or very very very very very BRAVE!

I don't think I'd have had the guts to reach down into that toilet, much less put that contact back into my eye.

Geesh! You are one brave mama!

Hey - I'm a sister Houston Skirtsetter! Hola!

Streganona said...

Okay, NOW I've heard everything! LOL!!!!!