Hello. I'm at work. I forgot my laptop but I decided to write any way, even if it's in the form of this blog during lunch.
When I cleaned out my things from my dad's house recently I also found the poetry notebook I turned in as my final for my Creative Writing Poetry class in the Fall of 1992.
Just looking at that date brings back memories. It was my last semester of college and it was a very significant time in my life. My life took an extraordinary turn the very next month when I started working for the Chronicle shortly after graduation.
I looked over the poems that I wrote and they just exude of my innocence of life. I still had very romantic ideas and thought that life was wrapped up nicely with a bow like in fairy tales.
I had recently bumped into an ex boyfriend and I mistakenly thought that maybe we could resume our relationship. So half of the poems are forlorn love sick poems lamenting about a relationship that didn't even exist. I laugh aloud at how ridiculous I sound. All I can say is I now know what it's like to be loved by a real man.
Despite the bad poetry I did find one poem I like that has some very vivid imagery. I like the lines that say, "I can already feel you crawling up inside me, sitting on my mind taking it over, then sliding into my heart and chewing it, then spitting it out into my stomach."
I can guess by the lines in the last poem entitled "My Awakening" (I had recently read that book by Kate Chopin in my Women in Literature class-How melodramatic of me!) that I had finally figured out by the end of the semester that this "possible relationship" only existed in my head. The last lines read, "When I reached out to you, And you reacted, coldly, indifferent, I knew." Too funny!
There are also two other poems that are my favorites. "My Uncle's Bakery" and "Where I Lived." I'll share one of these with you now. If you want to read My Uncle's Bakery let me know and I'll post it later.
12/3/92
Where I Lived
I hated that we didn't live in a big house,
like some of my friends.
In a neighborhood with sidewalks
and paper boys on bikes,
like Henry, Beezus and Ramona's friend.
Instead the neighbors all put their junk out in piles
on the streets in front of their houses
or in the "cul du sac"
or simply put, "the circle."
And it stayed there because the trash people never came.
Then as I grew up
I realized
How unimportant sidewalks are
and how great ditches are
for swimming in.
Wondering if a crawfish
might bite me on the toe.
I'd run barefoot on the hot black street
often cutting my feet,
and running home for Mama to wash it
and to pour sangre de chango on it.
I can't remember how many times I did that,
Or when I would run until I was exhausted,
with sweat on my face,
and going home at night
to hear my mother yelling
that I smelled like a dead dog.
By: Loida
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Too Many Thoughts
I always have hundreds of thoughts running through my head. So much so that I can understand why my family is so crazy. I think it's hereditary.
Right now this minute I'm thinking of how happy I am today. Truly happy! Why? Because I just had the most awesome cleaning woman clean my house today. I really believe that I need a cleaning lady in order to keep my sanity. I just do. Think what you want but don't judge until you've walked in my shoes. He he! Seriously, there's no way I could work full time, come home and make dinner, walk, spend time with my kids, AND write a book, if I had to clean my house too. Thank goodness for cleaning ladies!!
I've gone through quite a few and none every measured up to my awesome Mother-In-Law. She is the BEST cleaning woman in the world and she doesn't even do it for a living. She's a CAD designer and works with engineers. She would just help me when she could. Today our friend Alice came to clean and she ROCKS!! She doesn't realize how she made me feel better just because when I got home I didn't have the pressure of a dirty house. Rey said he thought his mother had been here when he got home.
So that's one thing I'm thinking about. The other thing I've been thinking about a lot the past couple of days are those poor children who were kidnapped by that psycho in Idaho. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8556293/ Stories like these make me so sick and I feel so horrible for this family and most of all for the little girl that will have to live with such a nightmare.
I can't help but think, "What if this was my family? What if some psycho zoned in on us because we have two children." It's such a scary thought but things like this do happen.
These thoughts are so completely different. Complete opposites! Shallow thoughts about a clean house and a horrible thought about a child predator.
Before I forget. If you are an Alanis Morisette fan and you haven't gotten her CD at Starbucks- Buy it! It's really great. I can listen to it over and over again but I may drive Rey mad.
Right now this minute I'm thinking of how happy I am today. Truly happy! Why? Because I just had the most awesome cleaning woman clean my house today. I really believe that I need a cleaning lady in order to keep my sanity. I just do. Think what you want but don't judge until you've walked in my shoes. He he! Seriously, there's no way I could work full time, come home and make dinner, walk, spend time with my kids, AND write a book, if I had to clean my house too. Thank goodness for cleaning ladies!!
I've gone through quite a few and none every measured up to my awesome Mother-In-Law. She is the BEST cleaning woman in the world and she doesn't even do it for a living. She's a CAD designer and works with engineers. She would just help me when she could. Today our friend Alice came to clean and she ROCKS!! She doesn't realize how she made me feel better just because when I got home I didn't have the pressure of a dirty house. Rey said he thought his mother had been here when he got home.
So that's one thing I'm thinking about. The other thing I've been thinking about a lot the past couple of days are those poor children who were kidnapped by that psycho in Idaho. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8556293/ Stories like these make me so sick and I feel so horrible for this family and most of all for the little girl that will have to live with such a nightmare.
I can't help but think, "What if this was my family? What if some psycho zoned in on us because we have two children." It's such a scary thought but things like this do happen.
These thoughts are so completely different. Complete opposites! Shallow thoughts about a clean house and a horrible thought about a child predator.
Before I forget. If you are an Alanis Morisette fan and you haven't gotten her CD at Starbucks- Buy it! It's really great. I can listen to it over and over again but I may drive Rey mad.
Monday, July 11, 2005
San Antonio
Just got back this evening from a quick overnight trip to S.A. for Rey's grandparent's 60th Anniversary party. It was very nice. A Hawaiian lual theme and I learned that my Hawaiian name is Loika and Rey's is Lei. Miranda is Milanaka and I never found Seth's name but now I know it's Keka. (Go to: http://www.hisurf.com/Hawaiian/names.html to find out your Hawaiian name)
Rey had a really good time seeing his 6 boy cousins and 2 girl cousins. Rey and his brothers are 4 so that's 10 boy grandsons and only 2 granddaughters his grandparents have! Isn't that wild?! They are all one year or months apart from each other and span about 10 years.
Rey's parents only had 2 grandchildren for 11 years (Rey's daughter Mandi and Robert's son Bobby) and then they had a great spurt of grandchildren. They had 6 grandchildren in 5 years! Three girls and Three boys born right after each other for a total of 4 grandsons and 4 granddaughters. The only one missing that night was Mandi. We took pictures of the seven grandchildren that were there.
A good time was had by all but now here we are back to the "troche moche." Don't know how to spell that but it's what my mother would always say and it's roughly translated "back to the grind." Dentist appointment for Miranda tomorrow and tons of work to do. Good night!
Rey had a really good time seeing his 6 boy cousins and 2 girl cousins. Rey and his brothers are 4 so that's 10 boy grandsons and only 2 granddaughters his grandparents have! Isn't that wild?! They are all one year or months apart from each other and span about 10 years.
Rey's parents only had 2 grandchildren for 11 years (Rey's daughter Mandi and Robert's son Bobby) and then they had a great spurt of grandchildren. They had 6 grandchildren in 5 years! Three girls and Three boys born right after each other for a total of 4 grandsons and 4 granddaughters. The only one missing that night was Mandi. We took pictures of the seven grandchildren that were there.
A good time was had by all but now here we are back to the "troche moche." Don't know how to spell that but it's what my mother would always say and it's roughly translated "back to the grind." Dentist appointment for Miranda tomorrow and tons of work to do. Good night!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
THE BOOK
***Note: Some of you may have seen this incomplete entry yesterday. I wasn't able to finish it because Miranda woke up and had a fever of 100 degrees and I never came back to writing. She's fine now.***
I'm giving this post the title that my sister Becky calls my book. We were at a party for some friends the other day and she asked, "Have you told them about THE BOOK?" I LOVE my book and she laughs about it because I was obsessing about that book. When I called her for what seemed like the third time to tell her something new about my book she said, "TODAVIA with that damn book?" (Todavia means, "still.") For some reason she and my husband were the ones following my book obsession.
When I was a little girl I loved to read, of course. There was one book that I inherited from my sisters that I loved to read over and over again. It was an old yellow story book filled with wonderful tales. Some that I know now are old classics, like 'The Little Red Hen,' 'Old Mother Hubbard,' 'The House That Jack Built,' 'Uncle Remus,' 'Peter Rabbit' and lots of nursery rhymes like 'One Two Buckle My Shoe' and hand games 'Here is the church and here is the steeple..' and so on. You get the idea. But I especially loved this one story called "The Story of Live Dolls" by Josephine Scribner Gates. I loved to read this one over and over again despite how long it was.
I often thought abut this book over the years and wondered what had happened to it. About a month ago by dad called and said that he was cleaning out his attic (yes in the dead of Houston Summer- that's my 81 year old dad for ya) and he wanted me to come to his house to claim my junk. I thought that I had a few things in the attic, but not too much. Maybe an extra crock pot I got as a wedding present 8 years ago.
My two sisters who live in Houston went ahead of me and informed me that I had a lot more than a crock pot there. When I finally made my way to his house, after a lot of pressure from one of my sisters, I could not believe what was there. My mother had kept a box of my school books from the time I was in Kindergarten! I was both perplexed and touched, since my mom passed away five years ago, that my pack-rat mother had taken the time to keep all of these things.
I think my favorites were the red Big Chief tablets that were now really yellow and falling apart and sadly not worth keeping and my kindergarten workbooks. Each one introduced a new letter and I remember them like it was yesterday! It was almost eerie that I was looking at 30 year old books and that I could actually REMEMBER writing these letters and doing these exercises. Isn't that bizarre?
I remember that every time our teacher would introduce a letter there was a big blow up doll character for that letter. Like Miss A who would say, "ah ah choo!" Knowing what I now know about paper and printing I was amazed that these books were still so colorful and clear. These books were printed on a very good weight and quality of paper.
Anyway, besides those two favorite finds, I couldn't believe my eyes when I found my beloved story book, tattered and without a cover but there, clearly written on the cover page was some chicken scratch of something I had attempted to write before I knew how to write my name, and then below it was my name written in childish writing.
My book! I opened it hurriedly and scanned the different stories, all looking just as familiar as the last time I had read this book. I turned the pages until I found my favorite one about the dolls. My four year old daughter wanted to know what I was looking at and I told her excitedly about my book and about my story. She wanted for me to read it to her but I told her I'd do so later.
It was interesting to me that the title of the book was "Better Homes and Gardens Story Book." I didn't remember that, but that title probably didn't mean a thing to me as a child. When I turned the page to the title page inside I was amazed at the copyright date. 1950!
Later the more I thought about it I became curious to remember what the book had looked like with its cover. So I decided to do a search on PowellBooks.com and I found the book without a photo but the description of the yellow cover evoked some memories. I did remember that yellow cover so my book must have had a cover at one time. The book was over $100, a little steep to relive a memory.
I did some more searches, including one fruitful one on Amazon.com and I found many more copies of the book for a lot less. All of them were copyrighted 1950 but I guessed from the descriptions that some were earlier printings than others or were in better condition. I guessed that the ones on PowellBooks.com must be an early printing in mint condition for that price.
One comment by a seller caught my eye. It mentioned that his/her copy included the Pledge of Allegiance before the words "under God" were added. I turned to the page in my copy of the book and found that sure enough I had one of those earlier printings. What a shame that I didn't have a cover on mine! Not because I would have sold it, but just to have a complete book.
I bought a book with a cover for $10, only because I wanted a copy and I decided I'd put my older copy away where Miranda's hands wouldn't continue to wear it down. When my book arrived I turned to the page of the Pledge and found the words, "under God." A later edition, but a good book with a cover and no markings at all.
After I purchased the book I called my sister to tell her I'd received it. I told her some of the interesting points I had noticed, such as the wording in one story that would be considered politically incorrect today but was commonplace is 1950 and the "under God" wording. She told me I was obsessed with this book and that she would need to come by and see this now famous book.
What I didn't tell her was how amazing it was to read the story about the dolls and to remember the words so vividly as if I had only read the story yesterday. I remembered the writer's descriptions of the doll house and the maid with the crooked leg and wig.
I don't know who this writer was or is (she may still be alive) but I believe that's talent when a writer can impact a little girl so much that she can remember the words at 35. That's the kind of writer I want to become.
I'm giving this post the title that my sister Becky calls my book. We were at a party for some friends the other day and she asked, "Have you told them about THE BOOK?" I LOVE my book and she laughs about it because I was obsessing about that book. When I called her for what seemed like the third time to tell her something new about my book she said, "TODAVIA with that damn book?" (Todavia means, "still.") For some reason she and my husband were the ones following my book obsession.
When I was a little girl I loved to read, of course. There was one book that I inherited from my sisters that I loved to read over and over again. It was an old yellow story book filled with wonderful tales. Some that I know now are old classics, like 'The Little Red Hen,' 'Old Mother Hubbard,' 'The House That Jack Built,' 'Uncle Remus,' 'Peter Rabbit' and lots of nursery rhymes like 'One Two Buckle My Shoe' and hand games 'Here is the church and here is the steeple..' and so on. You get the idea. But I especially loved this one story called "The Story of Live Dolls" by Josephine Scribner Gates. I loved to read this one over and over again despite how long it was.
I often thought abut this book over the years and wondered what had happened to it. About a month ago by dad called and said that he was cleaning out his attic (yes in the dead of Houston Summer- that's my 81 year old dad for ya) and he wanted me to come to his house to claim my junk. I thought that I had a few things in the attic, but not too much. Maybe an extra crock pot I got as a wedding present 8 years ago.
My two sisters who live in Houston went ahead of me and informed me that I had a lot more than a crock pot there. When I finally made my way to his house, after a lot of pressure from one of my sisters, I could not believe what was there. My mother had kept a box of my school books from the time I was in Kindergarten! I was both perplexed and touched, since my mom passed away five years ago, that my pack-rat mother had taken the time to keep all of these things.
I think my favorites were the red Big Chief tablets that were now really yellow and falling apart and sadly not worth keeping and my kindergarten workbooks. Each one introduced a new letter and I remember them like it was yesterday! It was almost eerie that I was looking at 30 year old books and that I could actually REMEMBER writing these letters and doing these exercises. Isn't that bizarre?
I remember that every time our teacher would introduce a letter there was a big blow up doll character for that letter. Like Miss A who would say, "ah ah choo!" Knowing what I now know about paper and printing I was amazed that these books were still so colorful and clear. These books were printed on a very good weight and quality of paper.
Anyway, besides those two favorite finds, I couldn't believe my eyes when I found my beloved story book, tattered and without a cover but there, clearly written on the cover page was some chicken scratch of something I had attempted to write before I knew how to write my name, and then below it was my name written in childish writing.
My book! I opened it hurriedly and scanned the different stories, all looking just as familiar as the last time I had read this book. I turned the pages until I found my favorite one about the dolls. My four year old daughter wanted to know what I was looking at and I told her excitedly about my book and about my story. She wanted for me to read it to her but I told her I'd do so later.
It was interesting to me that the title of the book was "Better Homes and Gardens Story Book." I didn't remember that, but that title probably didn't mean a thing to me as a child. When I turned the page to the title page inside I was amazed at the copyright date. 1950!
Later the more I thought about it I became curious to remember what the book had looked like with its cover. So I decided to do a search on PowellBooks.com and I found the book without a photo but the description of the yellow cover evoked some memories. I did remember that yellow cover so my book must have had a cover at one time. The book was over $100, a little steep to relive a memory.
I did some more searches, including one fruitful one on Amazon.com and I found many more copies of the book for a lot less. All of them were copyrighted 1950 but I guessed from the descriptions that some were earlier printings than others or were in better condition. I guessed that the ones on PowellBooks.com must be an early printing in mint condition for that price.
One comment by a seller caught my eye. It mentioned that his/her copy included the Pledge of Allegiance before the words "under God" were added. I turned to the page in my copy of the book and found that sure enough I had one of those earlier printings. What a shame that I didn't have a cover on mine! Not because I would have sold it, but just to have a complete book.
I bought a book with a cover for $10, only because I wanted a copy and I decided I'd put my older copy away where Miranda's hands wouldn't continue to wear it down. When my book arrived I turned to the page of the Pledge and found the words, "under God." A later edition, but a good book with a cover and no markings at all.
After I purchased the book I called my sister to tell her I'd received it. I told her some of the interesting points I had noticed, such as the wording in one story that would be considered politically incorrect today but was commonplace is 1950 and the "under God" wording. She told me I was obsessed with this book and that she would need to come by and see this now famous book.
What I didn't tell her was how amazing it was to read the story about the dolls and to remember the words so vividly as if I had only read the story yesterday. I remembered the writer's descriptions of the doll house and the maid with the crooked leg and wig.
I don't know who this writer was or is (she may still be alive) but I believe that's talent when a writer can impact a little girl so much that she can remember the words at 35. That's the kind of writer I want to become.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
I can't believe it's 10 p.m.
Where did the day go? It just flew by! I can't believe it's already 10 p.m. Thanks to those of you who e-mailed me at my shoegirl address and let me know that you're reading. It's nice to know that someone out there is reading my crazy thoughts.
I know it's not always the most interesting read but it keeps me writing every day, which is vital for a writer. It's great to finally know why I talk so much and why I have so many thoughts, ideas and yes, dialogue always running through my head. I've known that I'm a writer for a very long time and I've kept a journal since I was 14 but now I really feel like I have an outlet for my thoughts. I've also been told that I write dialogue very well. My answer to that was that it's because I talk so much! I better know dialogue.
Took a break to go play with the baby on the bed for a little while. He's a crazy little boy! I just absolutely LOVE watching him walk around now that he's walking.
I know it's not always the most interesting read but it keeps me writing every day, which is vital for a writer. It's great to finally know why I talk so much and why I have so many thoughts, ideas and yes, dialogue always running through my head. I've known that I'm a writer for a very long time and I've kept a journal since I was 14 but now I really feel like I have an outlet for my thoughts. I've also been told that I write dialogue very well. My answer to that was that it's because I talk so much! I better know dialogue.
Took a break to go play with the baby on the bed for a little while. He's a crazy little boy! I just absolutely LOVE watching him walk around now that he's walking.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)