Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The State of My Life Address

We are coming to the end of the first month of the year. How have we done? Well if you're asking me my answer is, "slow start!" It's not that I didn't try to do better. It's that I had surgery at the end of the year so I started the year working out a lot less than planned. But that's okay. I'm here now and I have my health and it feels like the surgery was successful. At least that's what my body is telling me.

In two and a half weeks I'll be turning FORTY-ONE! I am well into my forties now. It's that time again! Time to review my Vision Board and to see where I'm at on my goals thus far. I still have a lot of work to do. It's time for my own "State of My Life Address."

I feel like I did something proactive by going to see a dietician last week. Now to just follow her advice. I can also start working out harder now and I can even start lifting light weights so the work outs can get back on schedule.

As I get older I think of my mother and my sister who I lost 11 and 16 years ago. At my age my mom had a two year old, me. She was thirty-nine when she had me and she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, just like I was when I had my kids. She wasn't diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes until I was thirteen but she probably had it for a long time. I think about that when I start gaining weight again. I think of the consequences and I ask myself why, if I have even more knowledge about this disease than my mother had, why is a healthy diet and exercise still such a challenge?

I've talked about my allergy to shell fish on here many times. I was just telling my two co-workers about it yesterday and how extremely allergic I am, to the point that I started having a reaction at the allergist's when I was tested. Here is a question I have posed before. I know I am very allergic to shellfish so I stay away from it completely. WHY don't I stay away from sugar and carbs with the same intensity? I need to add that to my vision board. A picture of a shrimp = to carbs. Both can kill me eventually.

The reason I think about my sister too is because she was 41 when she was diagnosed with cancer. I'm that age now and it's weird to think that. I can't even imagine what I would do if it happened to me. When I was younger I used to say I would never put myself through the treatment and prolong the inevitable. That was before I had kids. Now I realize I would do things completely different. Funny how your point of view can change like that when you have children.

I think about my sister and I wonder what was going through her mind all those months in a bed. She had neurolgical damage and she couldn't speak or walk for most of the time before she passed away. What was left unsaid? What was left undone? What dreams did she wish she had achieved?

What dreams do I still have? What do I want to achieve? I'm at a good point in my life to ask those questions and to figure out the answers.

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