Thursday, November 03, 2005

I Wish I Could Do Everything

I’m exhausted. I’ve been working on a presentation every day this week along with my own work and I had to give the presentation this morning. Then it was a long day event of taking the clients to lunch and giving them a tour of the city landscape. It would have been fun except that the mini bus we took was super hot. The other down side is that I haven’t really had time to do the sales part of my job to my own clients.

I bumped into an old college friend at that friend’s funeral last week and she told me, like she’s told me before, that she doesn’t know how I do it- between working full time, the children and trying to write a book. The truth is that I don’t do it all. I struggle just like every body else does to do what I can. I don’t get all the things I need to get done, but when I start beating up on myself I remind myself of how much I do get done. It’s the only way to keep my sanity. I am my worse critic. I’m the hardest on myself. I never feel like I’ve done enough and I always think I could have done better.

Like today for example. It’s Thursday and it’s my writing day. I just started this writing day thing last Thursday, right? Well today, on only the second Thursday, the kids were sick so my husband kept them all day. We misunderstood each other and I told the sitter he was keeping them all day but in fact he wanted to drop them off after taking them to the doctor. Since he kept them all day I felt obligated to come home right away. So I came home and watched Oprah and made dinner, but I didn’t walk and I didn’t write. See how I don’t do what I want to do.

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